Naïve
by Tao-Ri-Sarra
Summary: What if Edward had a reason to survive in 1907? Bella, daughter of a duke in Chicago, lives a life preplanned for her. Only one problem persists: It's not the life she wants to lead. And her ticket to salvation comes with a pair of green eyes.
1. Escape

Naïve…That's what I had been, as a child, as a teen, as a young woman now. 

I always had a comfortable life. A calm life where everything in my life was decided for me. What clothes I wore, what food I ate, where I went, when I did it.

The only thing I had a hold of was my mind. And even that at times was washed away in the fog of the control these people had on.

I was losing myself in a war over the actions of my body, as I soon would find out.

I had control on nothing; they had no control over me, and they were trying to disillusion themselves into a fairytale where they could.

They'd never be able to keep hold of me, especially where I was headed.

As silently as I possibly could, I slipped out of bed, turning back to the bed as an after thought.

If Angela comes in here, she'll know I've left… 

Quickly, I moved about the giant pillows on the bed, shaping them into my form so if one were to look at it through the mahogany silk curtain, they would see naught but me still in slumber, and it would not quicken them to wake me.

No one woke me in my slumber, so the servants quickly learned to let me be as I was if I remained in bed, unless I was requested.

And in the position I was in, well, I could just order them away or silent, but only then late I would be severely punished for my insubordination.

Shaking my head to chase away the thoughts of punishments befitting the crime I had committed to only moments before, I grabbed a few under gowns, leaving my corsets and the rest of the rubbish where they belonged; off of my body and in the trash where none would find them. I donned the gowns before throwing on my over dress and a cloak.

Looking down the hallway, I slipped out as quietly as I possibly could before I started slowly for the stairs passed my fathers room.

When I finally caught sight of my destination, I ran to the entrance, the pads of my sandaled feet quietly making a slishing noise as I slowed my ballet-like movement down the stairs to the grand doors, throwing them open before throwing myself into the warm, basking light outside my prison.

It had been so long since I had last seen the sun, so long since I'd been locked away in my cage with no sights of escape.

I spun happily around, the burgundy gown spinning daintily around me as I laughed aloud, closing my eyes in ecstasy. 

Slowing my revolutions, I smiled, running toward the stable, thoughts of leaving this wretched place and going to the village.

After all, I'd already committed the crime, I was going to be punished all the same, why not have some fun while I was at it?

Dismounting the black stallion, I ran my dainty palm down the beasts white nostril, the velvety softness warm in my hand.

Looking at the kind hand, I handed him a frank and the reins as he took my identity down on a slot of paper so I could reclaim the horse later. 

Thanking the man, I turned and continued on my way into the small town market, hoping to come across some trinket or other that would have made my sacrifice somewhat worthwhile.

It was crowded right then, the throngs of people heading also into the morning market to buy odds and ends and fruits and vegetables and meats and poultry for their morning meals.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of someone watching me, across the street where he could not be caught at the crime. I looked about, looking for the officers if need be.

There was a feeling in the pit of my stomach; a queasy feeling that made me uneasy as I knew that whatever intentions that the large man had, they would not be leaving me short of a minor disaster.

Turning, I moved swiftly to the right, hoping to move into the crowds of people, becoming lost to the man's sight in the middle of the mob.

Looking to the direction I traveled in, I collided with a dark cloaked man, tumbling to the ground in my rash flight.

A hand descended towards me, the skin a translucent pearly white.

As torturously slow as I think I could have possibly moved, I lifted my head to the see the beautiful stranger I had just bumped into, leaning over me as several people glanced in our direction.

He leaned down even closer to me, his breath cool against my cheek, "Are you alright?"

His hands slipped around me, as he pulled me from the cobbled street and into his chest before whispering deliberately in my ear calmly, "Play along with me…"

"I've been looking all over for you, where have you been?"

Another shiver ran down my spine, this one a spark of excitement, as I felt the sensation of evading mild danger, solved by the form of this beautiful man, as I caught sight of his glorious green eyes, shimmering down on me.

"I'm sorry."

"Never mind, never mind. Come with me, Madame, we'll go get breakfast."

He moved me more then I moved myself, briskly sliding me underneath his arm, casually walking me away from the square.

Being in his arms felt fantastic, so much better then it should have felt, too much that I should have felt for a good man whom had only been making

Turning around a corner and onto a side street, he rushed me into an alleyway and into the eave of a bakery shop, quickly pushing me against the wall.

Confused beyond all belief, I glanced at him, questioningly, before attempting to voice my obliviousness.

He held a hand out against my lips, silencing me.

It sent another warm shiver up my spine, as he held my mouth shut and my thin body against the brick wall of the building.

In the moments that passed, us silent and pressed inappropriately for a to-be-bride and a stranger, I noticed how inconceivably beautiful he was, with his glowing green eyes, light skin, and curly mahogany brown hair, which laid uneasily on his head. I was painfully aware that he was strong, stronger then I'd ever sensed in a mans presence, as he held me as stiffly as he possibly could. I cast my eyes away as he began to glance at me up and down.

After a few moments passed, he pulled me from against the wall slightly, and looked me over carefully. "I'm sorry you got involved in that. It was completely my fault it got out of hand."

Sighing, I rubbed the wrist he had relinquished, stimulating the blood back into the extremity, "Please, sir-"

He abruptly cut me off, "Edward Mason, if you will Madame."

"Mr. Mason, please if you will explain to me who-"

"Who those men were?" He laughed softly, his face screwing up in a handsome smile, "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me."

"Oh really? What's that supposed to mean, Mr. Mason?"

"I don't believe I've gotten your name, Madame."

"Bella Swan."

He lifted my hand daintily to his lips, were they gently set a kiss to my gloved palm, "Well, Miss Swan, if you would care to go somewhere more, lets say private, we might be able to discuss that topic a bit further. But here, my lady, the doors have ears, the walls have eyes."

I glanced around, noticing that people were stopping near the alleyway to watch the exchange between this man and I, as we were pressed very close together in a crevice.

"Then shall we depart then? To a place more….. Appeasing?"

The only reply I received, was the mans extended arm, bared strongly to me, which I took willingly, earning several nasty sneers from girls who were just passing by.

"So tell me about yourself." I probably was treading in deep enough water already, why not try to get some leeway out? There was considerable trouble awaiting me at home, I was sure of it, judging by the sun on the horizon, marking it past the waking hour.

I sat down silently as he held the chair out for me, before taking the seat my opposite.

'Probably trying to be polite.' It upset me, this man's distance. It probably shouldn't, but it did all the same.

I had a stinging urge to lay my hand down upon his cheek, to feel the strength of the muscles there and see if they were as strong as they appeared, but I restrained my hands, wringing a bit of my dress between them instead, to distract them from the urges that would surely be discouraged.

"Well, we've lived here for years, my family and I. I was born here, in Chicago-"

"Oh my, were you really? May I ask you how old exactly you are."

He smiled delicately at my outburst, as I covered my mouth to disrupt the remaining words from pouring out.

"Seventeen."

"Really, I just turned seventeen last month!"

"What a coincidence." He smiled another silly smile at me, all of his teeth bared at me in the most adorable way.

"Where do you live?"

He chuckled softly, "My, you're a nosey one."

"I'm sorry. Its just…you intrigue me…"

"Its quite alright. A lot of girls are." He gestured one handedly towards the window, where several girls were inconspicuously looking into the room, at him no less, before looking away acting innocent.

It angered me, it was disdainful in my eyes, what they were doing.

I shouldn't be so mad, one of them might be his bride, he might already be wedded, and here I was, consumed in his presence and possessive over him, the anger fumed my hatred of what I knew would undoubtedly happen to me in only a few months.

His hand shook me out of my reverie, and I noticed that I had begun to dig my nails into the soft wood of the table before me. The very hand that distracted me took mine within his, enveloping them in a warm embrace.

"Please forgive me if I'm being too…forward."

"It's quite alright. It's refreshing, really. I don't get this sort at home."

He smiled once more at me, his green eyes glowing. "I live in town, like most of the city. You?"

I blushed. I doubted that he knew what he was doing to me. I felt the uncontrollable urge to spill my guts out to him and see if he would devour me, alive or other wise. I'd never gotten this before, not once in my life.

"That's alright, you don't have to tell me. I realize that you probably think I'll follow you home tonight, anyway."

"You don't seem to understand. I want to tell you everything, I just cant seem to. Every time I look into your eyes I get…"

"Flustered?" he offered delicately, looking me deep in the eyes once more, seemingly to test this fact of his being.

I stumbled with my words before disillusioning myself by removing my eyes from his gaze. I sighed before I nodded, glancing up at him through the curtain of brown locks that flowed between he and I.

The only thing that was between our gazes, or our bodies, apart from the flimsy table.

"Edward? Is that you, darling?" a woman's voice called from the door.

I turned, uneasily, to look at what had distracted him.

I lady stood in the doorway, a parasol in one hand, partially hiding her face, before she closed it and stepped fully into the dimly lit room.

Her hair was a golden brown, coiling on the top of her dainty head with a few ringlet coming down to frame her beautiful face. She had similar green eyes to Edwards, part from the ring of aqua around hers.

"Darling, who's this?"

"Mother, this is Bella Swan. Bella, this is my mother."

I internally sighed, relieved that this woman was not at all like those at the windows, but his mother.

She smiled at my politely with a slight inclination to her head, before she turned back to the man before me. "Dear when do you plan on coming home? It's nearly noon."

Once more he glanced at me, giving me a heart wrenching smile, "As soon as we're finished here, and I've escorted her home."

She nodded lightly, before turning, her dress making a swishing noise as she retreated past the doors into the midday light outside.

Sighing the beautiful man stood, extending his arm to me, before suggesting that we might leave. I, following his lead, took his arm as he led me through the throngs of men and women and children and animals that clustered in the streets towards where I had left my horse in order to take me home quite properly.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. I do however own the Naïve storyline, so do your self a favor, and keep your ruddy hands off.

Alright So I got to thinking about different Twilight Situations, and I decided to write the best one into a fanfiction, cuz, you know, I'm weird like that. Idea swoops, I write until nothing comes to me, I take a break, start a different story, then go back to the last one later.

Anyway, the situation goes: what if Bella'd been alive when Edward was still a human? What if they loved each other before the Spanish Influenza struck his family? What if she was rich and he was not? And so the story began….

I do have an AN to my readers however: **Your Not Alone** and **Who's Your Boy **will be the first story lines I have ever posted and finished. Its all a matter of when I can get the time to type up the chapters and post them, and only then will you get your fanfiction.

Anyway, thank you all for reading the first chapter of **Naïve**, I hope you enjoyed it. Please comment on the story so far, the more RVs it gets, the more tempted I shall be to update.

! Tao-Ri-Sarra ! 


	2. Cockroach

"Darling

"Perhaps you should visit me and my family at our vista?" Edward suggested, as he looked at me from beside my horse, as he walked me back towards the estate, my prison.

"I believe I'd like that." I tried not to sound disrespectful; I really did, but the note that my voice took… I just couldn't seem to forgive how my voice had betrayed me. He however, continued walking, the bridle in his hand as he led the horse forward with a smile that graced his almost god-like features.

I smiled, too, as I fully adored his fine features on his face more delicately now, as his face had relaxed and all signs of stress had waded away like the swell of the ocean at low tide. It was almost serene, the look on his face.

I knew, however in my heart of hearts, that I was only flattering him. No one in my position could ever barter her heart away to a stranger she had just met.

Soon the gates came into view, and he aided me in dismounting, putting his hands beneath my dainty arms and lifting me clear off the horse. It felt nice, his arms around me, as he gently set me on the ground, my boots making a soft plop.

His eyes glittered as they caught the sun, sending crystal gleams all over. It passed in a moment, as he set me down firmly hands lingering lightly at my hips.

"BELLA!" a man's voice called from a distance within the gates. Edward looked to their direction attentively, while I remained transfixed on the fine line of his cheeks.

Feet pounded the ground in an irregular pattern, announcing multiple people running in our direction. I barely recognized the loss of his touch, as one of the men whirled me around, taking hold of my upper arms tightly before crushing me against their chest tightly.

"Jacob…" the sigh fell heavily from my lips in relief, as I returned the half-hug, half-squash-Bella. His height, though attractive, was always awkward for myself and most other girls that found themselves accustomed to seeing him.

Today, unlike any other day, he had his flowing black hair in a ponytail at the base of his neck. "Oh, how I've missed you so, Jake!"

Out of the corner of my vision I noticed a flicker of envy in my handsome companion's eye, both of them, actually, seemed to be glaring at one another.

Clearing my throat, I removed myself. "I apologize, how rude of me. Jacob, this is Edward Mason." The snarl did not avoid my misfortune, however, I deceived it with another statement and a smile between both men, "Edward, this is my _cousin_, Jacob Black."

Edward nodded his head in recognition of Jacob, Jacob returning the favor. However, Jake's lips pulled widely upward, exposing rows of white teeth in dignity.

"Bella, where have you been? It's been several hours since sunrise!" the new voice shocked me, truly, causing me to look in their direction. Behind Jacob, stood a petite woman, exactly my age, with auburn hair and blue eyes, her garb slightly under status of her companion beside her, but all around, well put in present company at my home.

"Angela!" once more moving from the circle, I embraced her as well, placing a gentle kiss about her forehead.

"Yes, Bella where have you been?"

"I went off on a ride into town. Mr. Mason here escorted me back after I got lost a bit down the road."

"How very lucky that you should have come across him then!" Angela's soft voice gasped, most likely the second hand of a tight corset to fit into her dress.

"Yes very. Now, if you're quite done here, I believe that we should head inside before either of us has our head taken. Come along now Bella."

I couldn't help but smile over my shoulder to the boy, however little I had known about him. "Adieu, Mr. Mason. I'm sure we'll meet again." And with that, I turned, allowing my dark escort to guide me back to my execution room, leaving the boy at the door.

Angela bustled beside us, her shorter legs moving brisker then ours to keep up, my horse's bridle in her hand, as she pulled the beast along with her. The horse jerked against her hand, trying to buck her hand from the bit, to which she firmly held.

"Master Black!" turning from my arm, he moved to grab the horse from my confident with ease, pulling it back to the ground with a single short pull.

He led the horse to the barn, keeping a strong hold near the bridle, jumping onto the rail beams, as he walked into the back of the stall, where he tied the lead around a beam, before carefully balancing back towards the door, where I stood.

Shutting it for him, I passed a handsome smile back up to him, where he leaned against a beam headed towards the ceiling, his hands fiddling with a scrap of cloth.

"So…" his smile widened, as he watched the cloth twist and turn this way and that as he wrung it around. "You didn't really just run into him down the road, did you?"

I froze half through shutting the gate from within, going to brush the dirt from the stallion's coat. Then again, Jake always new me, could read me, even if I tried to hide things from him. "No, he's not." I admitted, rounding the horse's front, touching his neck before inhaling the warm musk that stuck to his fine hair.

"I thought so. He really didn't strike me as a street-runner."

"He's not really all that bad, Jake, really."

"So, are you going to tell me exactly why you were together?"

I could feel the blush rising against my cheeks, "Jacob Black! That is none of your business!"

"As I see it, it is my business. In fact, it really is my business, since I was the one that found my older cousin wondering around with a stranger in the early hours of the morning."

"Out with it, Bella. I'll get it out of you one way or another, so just come clean out. Who is he and how did you meet him."

A chuckle caught in my breast as I turned to look at him over my shoulder, a smile still at my lips.

Jacob had always been my favorite cousin. He never had treated me like a lady, let me frequently in the stalls doing 'man's work' as so many other people were free to mention. Even now, he didn't mention the mud that caked the edge of my dress, nor the dirt that was rubbing into my bodice, as my hands caressed the stallion, brushing him as my entire body leaned into him.

He was the bastard son of my father's sister, and as my aunt Clara had been very disgusted by the child, she shipped him off to live with us until she had found a suitable man to wed in comparison to her status. And as she had, Jacob defied her, told her he would not abandon his home here for her, for the mother that had abandoned him as a child. And I had always adored him for the restraint I had seen him evoke as a child.

A voice deeper within the barn called her, their voice matured but still soft and musical like a young boy's.

Sighing, I smiled up at Jacob with an exasperated expression, mouthing 'Mike.' Understanding me well, Jacob leapt from his cocky position to the stray thrown floor, taking the stool from the corner and the hoof tool, before crouching on the stool on the side of the horse.

He tapped the left leg first, and the stallion lifted his leg, up into Jacob's awaiting hand.

Michael, to say the least, was in everyway a wealthy momma's boy. His blonde hair was short and cropped, carelessly styled over his bright blue eyes.

Yep, definitely a momma's boy.

He approached me, a large awkward smile smeared across his face as he ran up to me, throwing his arms around me.

"Darling! Where have you been?"

I could feel the growl in my throat begin to form. Michael Newton was the foulest little cockroach that the sun ever did see scurry underneath her broad eyelids. He however, had always been very found of me, and my parents had recognized a future relationship with the fellow lord son and myself.

Not that said relationship would have anything to do with me, whereas I would be conversing with maggots and worms shortly thereafter any relationship should occur.

Turning I smiled warmly, despite the bile that began to rise in my throat, "I went for a ride, why, is there something wrong, love?"

Mutely, he ran his fingers through my wavy brown hair which hung loose, haven been forgotten this morn in my haste escape from this place.

It sent a shiver down my spine, unlike the one the stranger had given me, oh so different. As I glanced up, I noticed his eyes, a light blue marking his Scott heritage brilliantly, his off blonde hair settled wickedly wild about his head, equal, if not more so wild then my own, with twigs and dirt and leaves about it.

This one made me feel so much worse then the one before, this felt worse then the chill of death.

He smiled down upon me, noticing my intent look. "You shiver, are you cold?"

His smile was a curse, his look my punishment, as his eyes scourged my body of all of its purity. Or at least, that's what I had fancied. 

I returned the smile bitterly once more, "Yes quite. Now, Mr. Newton, if you will excuse me, I must go inside now."

Rounding the stall, he followed me, grabbing a hold of my arm. "Bella, wait."

There was something in his voice of urgency, "Ride with me?"

"No, really, I must retire to my room. Father has entreatied a conference between him, my beloved cousin and myself."

Removing my arm from his, I once more stepped around him, this time at least getting out of his site.

I walked bouncily, ecstatic to be free of Michael all together. Clasping my hands in front of my dress at my navel, I felt where I had stored my mysterious stranger's handkerchief.

Hurriedly, I climbed the 214 steps of the front entrance, feeling like a stranger in my own home, as I slowly opened the large door, shutting it as slowly as I could so the door would not announce my reappearance in the house.

A short cough behind me startled me, and I whirled around, shocked and offensive already, as my back forced the door the remainder of the way shut, a cold sweat running immediately down my spine.

"Well," a curt voice shrilled, making me want to shrivel into the size of a raisin. "Where have you been, young lady!?"

Quickly, my gaze dropped to the floor, as I felt several eyes take possession of my body.

My tongue swelled, and I found no wetness in my mouth. I took survey of the floor, and counted four sets of shoes, one of which were indefinitely Jacob's, the mud caked around the edge making me recall his direct nature in all things, and taking care of his own livestock was not discounted.

One other were male, assumedly my father, as no one else would ever be seen with the wretch I called mother, whose voice I had immediately recognized.

The fourth pair were battered and old, and could belong to no other them Angela, whose feet were so tiny they appeared to belong to a child.

"Well? Answer, girl!"

Lifting my eyes, I surveyed my audience, and as I had assumed, they were as I had immediately thought. Jacob hosted a depressed face, sheepish, even, perhaps, and he looked gloomily up at me.

He had already let the cat out of the bag.

"I went out to town." I kept my eyes on Jacob, whom seemed to cower under my eyes in shame.

"Why." The voice cut through me completely, annoying and sharp all at once.

"I needed some more white cotton for stitching."

"And you couldn't ask a servant to and obtain it for you?"

Shifting so that my eyes now caught Angela's in turn, her eyes quickly adverting themselves, "It was the middle of the night, I did not think it proper to interrupt someone else whom might still be sleeping while I myself could not."

She in took some air, and I knew she thought to strike me down a notch once more, before the air in her breast released in one swooshing noise, her tongue clicking against her horse-like teeth.

Finally, I laid eyes on my mother, a proper lady if I had ever seen. Rich, dark brown hair was pulled back into a tight bun, streaks of silver and grey accentuating around her ears had always made me wonder if it was the stress she put the bun under or her age.

I smiled broadly up at her collapsed face, as she waved Angela off, as if she wasn't to be seen near my family at all.

Jacob moved to my side, as the woman sounded out her disgust, blowing us off completely, turning abruptly and waltzing down the hallway, leaving us three, obviously after my maid's head, as she had followed down the same hall Angela had taken.

"Well," my father clapped his hands together briskly, "Shall we stand around here waiting for the flowers to grow, or shall we finish were we started, Mr. Black?"

I found the day whittling by in my father's study, listening half heartedly to my cousin make several jabs at his mother, whom, for about 3 years now, had given up recruiting Jacob back into her household, and now was requesting he be replaced under her care.

My hands filled with needles and quilting, my mind wandered to my stranger in the city. To his brown hair that curled carelessly to his tender green eyes he intrigued me. My day soon disappeared, and I found myself being whisked upstairs by Jacob, my arm tiredly resting in his as he drug me up the stairs to my bedroom, where he kissed either cheek, wishing me a good sleep before leaving.

Entering my room with a gruff sigh, I launched myself into bed, and, for the first time in years, I suddenly found I had no urge to go to sleep.

In fact, the urge wasn't for weakness at all, but to lift myself from the bed once more and find the man that had enchanted me.

Sighing, I pressed my face into the pillow with a groan.

This was going to be one hell of a night.

So I finally updated. I've written up some evident plot scores down, I just want to know my reader's opinions. Do you want a short relationship between Bella and Edward as humans, or would you rather they have a long one before changing into vampires?

I'm thinking at least 4 chapters of human gooeyness, but I'm not quite sure with how much you'll read of it if I do.

So I'm workingprobably less chapters for you, and in a few weeks I have prom and the band dinner and such. I hope you all have enjoyed this, as much as I had writing it.

Review, and I'll be inspired to update quicker.

JA NE

!..TRS..!


	3. Keir Sa La Kiss

THUMP THUMP THUMP

**THUMP THUMP THUMP **

I shifted.

**THUMP THUMP THUMP **

"BELLA! Wake up!"

**THUMP THUMP THUMP **

"Urgh…" groggily I sat up, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand. What was- I froze, doubling over in pain, a moan of pain slipping past my lips.

Damn cramps.

From the closed door, more thumping was heard.

"I'm up!" I called back, chucking a pillow at the vibrating door, and the thumping stopped.

Angela's sleek hand appeared as the door opened, quickly ducking from the pillow that was forcefully thrown in her direction.

She smiled, her thin lips pulling over her array of large, horse-like teeth, shutting the door behind her softly.

"Breakfast is ready. You fine to dress your self misses?" Her large blue eyes surveyed me from the other side of the screening that unclosed my bed, her hands holding out a set of new washing clothes with a pot of warm water to wash in.

Using my feet to push me to the edge of the bed, I pointed to the side wash for her to pour the steaming water from her pitcher into the stand, while I worked on gaining enough courage to set my feet down on the frigid flooring.

"Jacob?" I asked her softly, still in the dream-like trans that I underwent every morning until nearly 10 am, where, as my mother would have it, I would endure endless torture by the means of my parents' friend's children, who were in no way, anywhere close to my liking.

"He left a few hours ago. He was up before sunrise, dressed and all, waiting for me in the kitchen with this." Her hand went into her apron to retrieve a bit of parchment, before extending it out to me in a loose grip.

I took it, pleased, as the girl rounded behind me, forcing a frock-like under dress on me, as I ripped open the edging to the envelope.

It consisted of nothing out of the ordinary, a key tied about a bit of parchment, leading me to say that I was free to either his study or the barn, and (as he had already told me what this key should entitle me to entirely) whenever he returned, he should expect to know exactly how I had made good of the time he should not be there to entertain me.

The key, you ask, reader? Well, I should tell you that it led me to many hours of exploration in both his room and study on my part. Days that he failed to return to us, I would search rampantly through his draws to find what said key should lead to.

It had become a game for us since that faithful day I had found it sitting upon his desk on the usual parchment giving me my orders for the day, and, each and every time thence on, I played it faithfully.

It wasn't that I truly cared what the key was for now; in short I played to return the favor for Jake, playing the part of the fool well for his sake alone.

A few months ago, I had come across the locked box to which the key fit. The emotion that had over thrown me had kept me from ever revealing what was within, to protect the smallest secret that my dearest cousin should ever keep from anyone, that I could never turn the lock over and peer within and destroy the mystification that had become the object of Jacob Ulysses Black.

"Misses?" Angela drew me from my reverie, pulling the final dress over my head.

Looking back to her over my shoulder, I acknowledged her presence.

"Are you sick, miss? You look a bit pale…" Her hand enclosed over my cheek, gently caressing it downward quickly, with the edge of her forefinger.

I shook her off, drawing close to the wash, going through my normal morning activities, despite the pair of eyes that chased me about my quarters.

"Isn't there somewhere you should be?!" I snapped, turning back around to find her fixed to the floor, staring at me intently.

She shook her head insistently, standing there darkly in the archway. "Actually, you've slept so in, that Madame asked that I see you to the drawing room." She approached, pulling me off to the door, her fingers taught about my wrists as she tugged me along behind her.

Swiftly, she pushed me straight, making my dress settle down further then it had set, into the room that was occupied by more demons then one.

About a circular porcelain lined table sat 4: Mike Newton, and, as you may recall reader, I have never exactly had particular liking for this man; Jessica Stanley, a girl with nutmeg hair that sat in wild curls from a bun atop her head, crazily waving about in a careless manner; the other girl, Lauren Mallory, was similar to the other, save for the flaxen smooth color that somehow seemed to blow without wind with her fine straight hair, almost as it she had intent to appear the same as her company, but perhaps be much more appealing to the eye; Eric Yorkie, a son of a family that had just recently come into a sum of money, and, as I saw it thus far, was the least of the evils within this room with the exception of myself; and finally, if not as wretched as the last, was Tyler Crowley, a son of a long line of recognized wealth that had resided in Chicago as long as my family had resided here.

As the situation had called, the three families, by this of course I meant the Swan's, Newton's' and Crowley's', had waited years to entertain a union between either side. And here I had come, tied in a pretty feministic bow to the Swan family, while both Crowley's and Newton's had a suitable son for me to choose and wed.

How lovely, that I didn't even have the choice in the matter. It was either wed or die, I was afraid, and as it were, I'd have the latter.

Angela quickly dragged me along to my chair, pressing me to it, before she bowed and skirted out of the sunroom as fast as she possibly could.

My lips pulled back into a low, underlying hateful grin, as I allowed myself to be drug back up from my chair, and forced to turn around in a even circle between both Michael and Tyler, before enduring a kiss upon both cheeks from both before retiring to the two raven dressed women, who both took my hands and, as I once again saw it, pointed out peculiarities of beauty that no one else could see, while the other nodded crookedly in agreeance before procuring one more to top her friend's best.

This went on for several hours, before I was pressured back into my chair between my two suitors, who had their best game about them, and were failing quite miserably at enchanting me.

"You disagreeable child!" I remember my mother hissing as I drew a porcelain teacup to my lips, her hand connecting to the back of my neck, before she apologized to her friends' children, rushing immediately into the adjoining room to return to them, as they had returned to fawning over her as their children had me.

Jessica leaned over, wild eyed as she giggled at my startled appearance. "So, what of this wedding I hear? Come, you must pick for me. Hand me my husband, darling, or I shall hand you yours the same!"

_Take both of them for all I care _I recall thinking, as I drew a long side bang between my fingers to twirl idly as both men beside me whispered eager promises of futures I could either take or shatter with a single word.

Lauren, ever the bitter spoiled child since we were young, sat fanning herself, her chair pressed up against Jessica's as she glared at Eric, her large green eyes small and beadily staring at him as if at any moment he should jump her and do her ego some sort of pride.

"I," she announced, "have no preference for either, my dear, and as you should already know, I've made my intentions known to a certain man of equal status in New York."

"Oh, come off it!" Jessica swatted Lauren with her laced fan, making sure it hit her with good fun before they once again commenced in their shrieking excitement that was my wedding and my money and my life.

I endured it, as I had every other day for the last 2 years. And, like every other day, I stood at two, said my goodbyes, and upon leaving I was drawn into a disposable hug and kiss from one man, which would erupt into an argument between the two, until the other commenced to do the same as the opposing man had done.

I left feeling very much dirty, like no amount of water in the world could wash the smudge of hierarchy those people had about them.

Hitching up my dress, I decided to retire to the barn, where I quickly stripped down into farm hands' clothes, ready to do work that Jacob had left in his rush to leave this place.

My horse, the radiant Chestnut mare with her white star crescent across her right eye, sat in her stall, waiting for me, as it appeared. I approached, as I usually did with her, with a bucket and a brush, and a saddle and bit.

She approached, nudging her heated face against mine in search for a bit of food.

"I'm sorry, Charlotte, it would appear I don't have anything for you today." Her head nudged the pocket of Jacob's humongous pants, as if to alert me to what he might have in them, or I might have placed in them yesterday when I was mucking out stalls with Jake.

I ignored it, brushing her face with a slop of water, before rubbing out dirt with the palm of my hand.

It came off quickly, and depressedly, I realized that Jake must have scrubbed her down before he went on his trip.

Settling back down on my stool, I sat in my muddy clothes, turning out my toes in admiration of the mud that marked my should-have-been hard labor, watching Charlotte out of the corner of my eye, who was, at the moment, grazing in the fenced off corral outside the barn

My hands slid down my legs, and I came across a hard lump in my left leg. Following suit, as curiosity had called to me, I reached into the pocket, drawing out a folded envelope, a ring and, as I had forgotten to take it from his hand, my laced handkerchief, folded gently in to a square.

Decidedly, I stood, taking off the work apron and heading towards the barn door, knowing Charlotte would most definitely follow my lead.

I had been a very wretched girl these past few days, and, as I saw it, the man had seen the worse of my evils' complexion.

Distractedly, I went through the steps that occupied readying my horse for a ride, and, should anyone have asked, that's exactly what it should have been.

Mounting swiftly with the bit barely settled, I ran her out of the stables and out on to the dirt road and soon, once more into town.

I'll admit, I felt absolutely foolish in what I was doing. I had read books upon books where girls my age had met a stereotypical "Happily ever after." What I expected, however, was nothing of the sort, as I had always known I'd have no Prince in Shining Armor rushing to my rescue.

I was as good as married as it were, with no true way out of it other then the afore mentioned death.

In admittance, what I strived for was completion, and as the man had left me, there was no sort of finishing tie, only a string that seemed to be forever unraveling as it pulled me further into an endless tide.

He drew me closer into an abyss of infatuation, and in short, I was very much interested, even if there was no chance of him being _**my**_ Prince Charming.

I stopped at the bakeshop that only the other day we had sat in the dark back corner, shielded from the eyes of the shrieking girls outside that sighed at his very wake.

Inconspicuously, I asked the head waitress to where I might find the boy named Edward Mason of Chicago. The woman looked me over, and seeing I was no obvious trouble for the boy, handed me a cloth to wipe my face before pointing me towards the library, where, she said, I was bound to find him, if not someone that knew of his exact location.

Following her directions, I crossed the cobbled street to a dark looking building, pushing the door open and letting the sunlight burst in before it shut, and blocked all natural light from the inside of the tall, lofty room.

The room was musty, and smelled of dew and mold, making me brush my nose with my hand and I made my way further within. Cobwebs and other such types of dust that fell with misuse scattered between corners and shelves that were empty, from missing books or the lack of them, I'm not certain.

There were ten tables in the center before a grand desk, where a man in his forties sat, several books propped up and stacked before him, one in particular open on his lap.

It wouldn't be for a few weeks before I found out that the dusty man behind the desk piled under hundreds of books just so happened to be Edward's father, Edward Mason Senior.

Taking in two of the tables in particular, I recognized my Edward over candles scattered across the long flat surface along with a great many titles. Many boys, from around our age, littered themselves around him in a surrounding motion.

He held out a volume of text, a hand pressed to it like a testament as he recalled to his fellow students exact dates and scientific terms for the new and improved medical field.

I stood towards the end of the last table, content to remain silent and unseen in the dark, though I was almost certain he had seen me, though he too returned once more to his previous mission: preparing the scholars around him for some sort of final examination.

His eyes were on me, while he kept his mind immediately on his work.

I found that a smile made its way softly to my lips, my hand urging up, I forced myself to move it forth into a sort of awkward wave.

Something twitched in his upper lip at seeing this, and I was almost certain he was retraining a smirk at my eager uneasiness.

Tired of remaining in the shadows after nearly a half an hour of my blank staring, I approached, careful to be silent as I neared, slipping into a chair near him, yet so far from his warmness.

I was close enough to make out each and every muscle in his face as he spoke, but so far that no one at the table had recognized that I was there, until Edward grabbed me as I nearly passed the group, pulling me to his chair and placing me to his lap, whispering to me how he'd rather I not sneak like a rodent around and under holes, that it was unbefitting a lady.

How close to the truth, Edward, how close to the truth.

A book was promptly placed in my lap, and a boy told me that if I were going to distract their teacher, that I might as well sit quite with the rest of them and learn something.

One of the boys nearest Edward resigned their seat to me, once again, because it was quite unladylike to be strewn across the floor in a dress like they all were, save Edward.

A paragraph was pointed out, and I was to read it, or leave, they said. I obliged, speaking rather clearly the words written precisely on the page.

This manner went on for several hours, boys trickling in and out until it remained just Edward and I.

He smiled down at me, and asked if I would be offended if he should kiss my cheek. I replied that it would, should he do it at all gently, and offered him the right side.

His lips pressed briefly to my cheek and I felt like the world was floating on a cloud, before I was quickly dropped from where I had been previously perched and into this angel's arms I flew, dumbstruck when he finally withdrew, taking my hands in his.

"You want to grab a coffee?" he asked stupidly, pointing across the way to the small café bakery.

My eyes on their own will, drifted to his lips, and, before I knew exactly what I was doing, I had leapt back to his lips, wrapping my arms around his neck to keep him from escaping too far.

He froze underneath my lips before melting, his arms going to reside against my waist.

Guiding me, he pulled me towards one of the shelving units, where he pressed my back to the highest shelf he could set me on so I wouldn't fall.

His thumbs stroked the lower side of my ribcage, before he pulled away, leaving me even more dazed then when the kiss began.

The strong roasted cinnamon taste made me sway, and I realized how good he smelt and felt in this current position. I was most certainly glad he could keep up his brain activity while I myself could not, or I was almost certain we would have been on the floor.

Looking up at him with half hooded eyes, I watched him looking me over, his eyes following the curve of my lip before his finger followed suit.

"I don't like coffee." It came out very sultry, and I really hadn't tried to make it that way, as I slurred the words in the most seductive way I think I possibly could have.

He smiled, drawing me back down for one last short kiss, renewing me to my spinning world of heat and cinnamon.

I could feel his lips pull further back, into a smile against the edge of my lips. "Then we'll go have some tea."

HURAH FOR ME!

Yup, I wrote it, you read, and you liked it and reviewed, and so you got a chapter up quicker then usual.

Some more human gushiness. In case you haven't noticed, Jacob isn't going to be a permanent roll.

So here's your chapter poll.

Should I write up to:

Edward becoming a vampire

Rosalie and Emmett

Alice and Jasper

Write up to where Bella would have come into the story if she had been human later.

Write up so Bella dies and is reincarnated into the twilight series.

I'm not too partial to the last option. Although, that is what it originally was going to be.

Anyway, review, and I'll update, I promise.

JA NE

! Tao Ri Sarra !


	4. Peach

"I asked all around town for you

"Tea? What's that?" I asked dumbly, swaying where I sat above him.

Of course I knew what tea was, I was just too dizzy to think exactly what the word meant, or at least to recognize it.

His lips pulled back, realizing exactly where my mind was at, and, knowing I wouldn't resist even if I wanted to, dragged me off my pedestal of the shelving unit.

I followed, starry-eyed, as he tugged my hand into his, the material of my sleeve loosening as he wrapped his fingers around mine. I looked at the hand that fused to mine, creating an artificial bond that I wouldn't have minded having around for all of eternity; the warmth of his hand lightening the rest of me like no fire ever had.

I pushed myself, or at least I thought I did, as it may very well have been that he pulled me to him instead, and I found myself perfectly tucked beneath his arm and against his side not unlike our situation just yesterday.

He opened the door not to the shady café with the dark corner within, but a larger, more promising abode with glass windows that were stained and not covered with paper to block out the sun.

Pushing me once more into the back of the café, he led me to a shiny table, laminated wood with pulp beneath in patters of flowers of different pigments of brown and green.

I slipped into the chair facing the windows, as I watched him run to the counter where a woman in her early twenties-late teens stood, a working apron around her waist.

When he approached, the girl took his hand in hers, drawing his cheek to her lips in a kiss. He exchanged some words with her, patting her arm, before returning with two cups of steaming, frothing liquid.

"What is it?" I found myself asking, taking up the thin cupped spoon, scooping up some of the froth before I let it slip out once more back into the cup.

"Kier-sa-la." He pronounced it delicately soft, his own spoon scooping out the froth and lifting it to his lips. Gently, he blew over the thick, creamy liquid, before he pressed the spoon against my lips.

"Try it."

"It smells weird." I murmured, tilting my face up and away from the liquid. I recalled slightly that the smell of it was something akin to what his flesh had smelled like; cinnamon and nutmeg and chocolate coffee bean. And anything that could warm you to the toe with a single whiff.

"For me?" he tried again, this time my mouth compromised, opening enough for the tip of the metal to touch my tongue.

I found the taste appetizing, despite the powdery smell. I didn't mind when Edward stood up once more to find the woman, as I had the drink to keep me company for a short while.

He moved smoothly, although there was a bashful awkwardness to his steps when he returned, offering me a plate of luncheon, to which I took lightly.

As I ate, he watched, eating nothing himself but the visage of me drawing the fork to my lips to engulf and take in every delicate morsel but half, as I had been taught never to finish what was before me.

"So what does this Miss Swan do in her spare time?"

"Spare time? Ha!" I felt the chuckle escape on its own, happy to show some sort of resistance, "Any time I have is owned and managed by the governess of my house. TO me, the time is anyone but mine."

Changing the question slightly, he continued, "But you did know how to read. Surely you enjoy it?"

"Mr. Mason. What I do or do not care for is not quite any of your business."

"But yes, I am learned, and I do enjoy the occasion of reading, although I am not so quick nor am I so bright."

A bright smile remained on his lips as he offered me a visit to his house, should I ever become bored at my own abode, wherever should it reside.

"What does your parents do, if I should be so bold, Mr. Mason?"

"My father is a professor of anatomy." He said this very smoothly, while downing the remainder of his drink very soberly. "He owns that very library across the way there."

His eyes twinkled suggestively at me when he looked up, making me feel very much warm. "Those books that were under you were his."

"I'm very sorry-"

"It's quite alright. They've been through much worse pains then to be sat on by a bony young lady."

I was about to shoot him a cold stare, as that was all my proud heritage could muster, until he continued on with his answer.

"My mother, has been very much sick these past couple of years, and has rarely held an occupation. She gets by on odd jobs, though she most usually tends to my father and I, whether it be at the school, or the library. We get by fair enough." He said it while his fingers rubbed one another, almost translucently, as if he were only just dreaming and I was the justified cause.

"And yours?" the trans broke as he spoke, the magic destroyed as if my life being any more sober then his might build him up to grace.

"Much the same. My father works very little as possible, although I never do see him much, except for when I get into some sort of trouble. Mother tends to father and I. Pushes me off, really. For years she's been urging me to find a husband, to better myself where she herself had not."

"That's very noble of her."

"Not as much as you might think."

"Then might I think that you are a loathsome little brat, disagreeing so desperately to a wish for your benefiting?"

"It's not so much that." I murmured, closing my eyes. I could feel his emerald orbs on me, smothering me in an appraising warmth befitting of a antique dealer on an ancient fortune. My lips had dried so far that I was forced to lick my lips, drawing the bottom under my teeth in an awkward, teasing method. "Oh, don't call me ungrateful, for that is far from what I am. I am very thankful for the effort, but so much to this point has been in vain. Everything that has been placed before me has been unappealing to me, a golden apple: polished and hard and shimmering to perfection, when I have searched for a peach."

My eyes deceived me slightly, and I rushed to explain it deeper then my analogy. "You see, for the apple is always cored out to my dismay, and I find all too frequently that it has been polished up to hide that it is in fact rotten inside. It reflects me, with all of my faults, and tells me that I am perfect, when I can see I am not. In short, they have been prepared, trained almost, to reflect exactly what I am to entice and please, though it does much for the opposing effect."

"A peach, though?" he asked with a laugh.

"No matter how much scrubbing you can do, it still remains itself. Its core is warm and supporting and ever strong, ne'er to dissolve. Completely, it is original, and unbending, no matter if I am please by it or not."

"Then what exactly would you call me, Ms Swan, as I have yet to tarnish you, nor crumble at your wake."

A small smile pulled at my lips, making my jaw ache. It felt like, for the first time, a true smile, and I welcomed it with great open arms, "You, Mr. Mason, are a Peach."

WHOOTOO! HURAY FOR MEH! Going to prom this weekend with my boyfriend and, a girl that I honestly can barely stand, but somehow became a friend of mine through some twist of fate when her ex boyfriend tried to use me as his whore.

Any way off that subject, it's a time for celebrating.

I'm getting my nails done and I'm doing my own hair (because someone's hands in my hair freaks me out, very much so, unless I know them very well.)

Any one wanting to see pictures should request my myspace through my gaiaonline: Future Kotara

I still want reviews though, in fact I'm almost out of school, and may just abandon this entire thing altogether.

REVIEWS REVIEWS REVIEWS

OR YOU GET NO MORE!

Anyway, I'll check ya'll later

! T A O R I S A R R A !


	5. Better Than Me

It had been weeks- no, two months, soon to be three- that I had seen the man of my own accord

It had been weeks- no, two months, soon to be three- that I had seen the man of my own accord. I sat, as I had for the past 17 years of my life, on beck and call and on the brink of marriage.

I forced the separation, though I knew very well where I might find him, and I made myself go through each day at a time with an air of self-reservation, swallowing my pride and self-pity with one swift movement each morning with a bowl of frigid water and lye.

I followed my dailies to the T each and every day, and at night I ridded myself of any foresight of my future like the clothing I shredded out of, only to repeat it over the next day in a repetitious circle I could not free myself of.

About two weeks into my normality, my world began to twist by the custom of a pair of emerald eyes, ever there with me in the night, and ever waiting. I twisted and groaned each and every night from there on thence, longing for his connection.

There was no relinquish in the days either, and soon, I began seeing him where I should be; in the garden at the rose bush, in my bedroom at the mirror, in the living room on one of the stiff backed chairs, engulfed by the spiders and roaches and terrible creatures that lounged there on a daily leisure.

He followed me, and I found that I indeed wanted to be followed by him.

But in the end, I found him just a mirage, an illusion that my mind had created to lessen the blow of his being missed.

I endured through it, however, and found that I was much stronger then I thought, or perhaps I was overcoming myself altogether, coming to the soon finality that I would be wedded and all I could do was dream I belonged to another.

The day began, if I do recall, like any other. Jacob, who had been absent for a seven-week sprawl beginning that very last day of our encounter had returned to me, drawing me forth from my usual torture to his presence for several hours at a time.

To the very dismay of us both, I had found that my ring, a golden band with a brisk encrusted sapphire, my birthstone, in the shape of a heart, had gone missing. It was my birthday present, and the cause of Jacob's last trip from my side.

This trip, however, seemed to have no true outcome. His mother had begged him to return, unlike any other homecoming, and he declined. This time, he had good cause however.

You see, the object of his affection had always been and always would be me, and he would never abandon me to the wretched world nor this household.

He had promised me that when he would wed the girl with long black hair and chocolate eyes that often tempted him with her visit to the house, that he would take me from here too.

Leana Claire, as both Jacob and I both knew her, was a very quite, wide-eyed girl of middle class. She, by nature, had taken to me, so close to Jacob that she had thought me his younger sister.

She was lovely, I was plain.

Together, all three of us sprawled around a pile of papers, the quiet girl over a single book as she tried to put symbols into words, her English not very well for she had just moved to America from Greece.

We were enveloped in pure excitement, and I, for an amazing moment, was content. Sharing a book, Jacob and I poured out knowledge of traditions and heritages not uncommon to our family or hers.

A knock at the door interrupted the wedding planning as a thin, pale face poked in through the door.

"Excuse me misses?" She nodded to Jacob, realizing it was not just we two in the room, "Master Black."

He nodded in return, his hand covering Leana's hand.

She turned to me, her eyes nervous, "Miss, there's a gentleman at the door asking to see you."

Turning to look out the window, I recalled that it had been raining early, which was why we were here, in his study and not outside.

I stood, confused greatly, though follow her I did, to the front of the house.

The door was shut as usual, rudely, I might add, as the current condition continued outside.

Angela bowed quickly, before rushing back towards the kitchen, probably to announce the arrival of my visitor.

Opening, the door I revealed a very wet man, who was dripping about the ears as long tendrils of once brown locks ran into his eyes.

His clothes where drenched, and specifically, his shirt clung to his chest, each muscle rippling as he breathed in and out, his chest heaving in an erratic sweeping motion as he attempted to gain his breath.

The man lifted his head with a weak smile. "Might I entreaty you to allow me entrance? It's raining quite heavily out here, and it seems I have spent much time out here today."

Quickly opening the door, I let him into the foyer, calling Angela for some dry towels to dry him off, and, should it be available, perhaps some clean clothes.

"Mr. Edward, if you would please explain exactly why you're here-"

He held up his hand, as the other began to towel dry himself off. The manner in which he stood there, was almost afraid to move. Once he was done, he stood back up straight, looking like he was ready for a fight.

"I asked all around town for you. Everyone recounted that there was no working class family by the name of Swan, but there was a Swanson, which of course had three sons, and I had said no, I was certain there must be a daughter. They then reaffirmed with one another time and time again that there resided a Swan family of higher class on this side of Chicago, and that of which harbored a wretched girl that was ill mannered and bad tempered and terrible at walking in a straight line, to which I in turn responded, 'That's my girl' but no one could give me an exact address."

A small smile tugged at his lips, and his moved up to meet mine, his hand pulling his hair backwards from the front. "It wasn't very nice of you to lie to me."

"I'm sorry." I murmured, my hands angling with each other at the hem of my waistline, for this was possibly the very first time I had meant the words that had slipped from my lips, "But, to my defense, you were the one whom jumped to the assumption I was of a lower status. I am, after all, just a lady, and in being such, have uttered barely the chance of attraction to you."

"Oh!" he sounded surprised and hurt all at once, as he continued, "So is it just that I might assume that you are not interested, and that I should therefore never have come here, and should leave right now before I run course with your temper, fair lady?"

"I apologize. I'll be gone at once." He turned to leave me at that instant and I felt my world shatter into a million pieces.

I rushed forward, and grabbed hold of his arm, catching it at the elbow, and tugging him in the opposing direction to get his attention.

He stopped; of course he did, as his ego made him stop to see my heart shatter like he must have done to each and every girl in the drove that followed him around.

"I didn't mean it like that. Please…"

My eyes floated over his gentle face, drawing over the soft lips that I had only pressed my own against a short few weeks before, bringing a sigh to my breast that could not be suppressed, as I allowed him to draw my hands to those loving lips.

"Forgive me."

It ghosted from me before I could realize what the words had meant. It was tender with betrayal that I knew that I had made him endure, and I felt wretched that I should have to come crawling out for forgiveness.

The sky was a muggy dark blue, spreading across the sky like a watercolor wash, marking the dusk down pour.

The ground had taken a whitewash appearance, though it was more of a brown wash, I guess, as the dirt mixed with the rain and cover the marble steps and walkway.

He had inched closer to me, and I finally betrayed myself. I leaned in to his chest, my hands already in his from his impromptu display of affection, and I was fully in mind to kiss him.

I faltered at his lips the second his breath caressed my lips.

No matter how much I loved this man, he could never be mine. I belonged to the governess, and did not own my own heart; instead it had been stitched on my sleeve from a very young age and had become mucked beyond belief, past the level of fixing it.

He deserved so much better then what I could give him, so much better then this destroyed heart that was so sure to break his so soon. I was tattered, he was not. This rustic heart had become cold and metallic, beating to the rhythm of death. How could I promise myself to him, when I didn't even know the future of myself?

Instead, he leaned in the rest of the way, pressing his lips to mine for what felt like the last time. I sighed, pressing against him as his arms went around to my waist, supporting me from slipping on the soaked linoleum tiling.

I felt suspended, floating underneath him as the ground disappeared and all that remained was us two.

Sighing, my mouth opened, taking the invitation for my tongue to caress his, as it pressed firmly against my lips.

He gently guided me; possibly afraid we might slip, to the wall, which ought to hold both of us up easily.

Pulling back, I looked up at him, grazing my lips over the edge of his chin, as his wide green eyes looked down at me.

Leaning down one last time, he brushed his lips to mine, pulling us apart as he realized he was soaking me through by just standing besides me.

His hands strayed from mine, coming to rest precisely on my waist as he held me exactly where I was.

His head bowed forward, touching mine softly, before uttering the final condemning words, "So I do have a chance with you then?"

A smile passed my lips gently, and I leaned my head into his, a bit awkward to look into his eyes where I was then, protecting my open heart from what I was about to tell him after exposing him to my defeated and dirty heart, tainting him for good.

"Not exactly."

He held me where he had before, but somehow the ground shifted and my breath caught in my chest, as I pressed tightly into his breast.

Then he withdrew till we were an arms length away from one another, his eyes trying to search my downcast ones as I avoided his sight altogether.

"You see, Mr. Mason," I began, twisting a bit of my waist line up, watching the material fold up and twirl beneath my fingertips as I shifted it around. "I seem to be in quite the predicament, and have been in such situation for nearly my entire life."

"There are two boys from families well respected by my father. Mother says that if the price were to be well enough, I will be wedded to one of them."

"As much as I like you, Mr. Mason, I do not see any sort of change in their opinion of my wedding to either of these men, and should I fight it, nothing would come of it. I will marry either one without a shrieking sound, and I will grow old and die, if nature will be so cruel to allow my dreadful existence more time then is good."

"Then I do have a chance with you…" a smile spread across my lips as I shook my head, pulling away from him with an exasperated look.

"Did you not understand a word I have said? I said I was betrothed, unavailable, engaged."

"What does that matter?" he pointed out blatantly. "It's quite obvious you don't want either of these guys, alright, by the bare fact you didn't reject me the moment I proposed myself to you."

"So you're nearly married off. It's not like you really love either of them, nor that you couldn't decide you love me."

"You must understand I don't run off to every gorgeous girl, but it does seem they flock to me like sheep to the slaughter. I don't mean to intrude, and if you mean very well to do by your parents, then please do, my dear, and damn yourself to this unpleasant life you dream of."

"But should you by any means decide that this life of yours that is being written for you, is not quite what you want, that it would not do your fair and dainty heart good, do me a favor and give me the chance to help you with it."

"You know where to find me." He finished shortly, turning to the door. It slammed open, and he walked out the door into the thundering downpour.

The moment he stepped outside, his nearly dry clothes soaked all the way through.

I rushed to the door, and looking around, I barely noticed him mounting a horse and riding off, away from me, and this house, and my wretched, ruined, broken heart.

_**You deserve so much better than me. So much better than me….**_

_(Later)_

With a tormented sigh, I untied the back of my dress, letting it fall flat off of my frame.

I shifted, feeling very much like the dead, as I climbed into bed.

The sheets shifted around me and I instantly felt awake.

Rolling onto my belly, I clutched my pillow to my chest, pressing my head against it.

He was right, whether I choose to admit it or not.

He spoke only the truth. He had yet to lie to me.

_All right Mr. Mason._

I knew he was right. I didn't want to marry Tyler or Michael, but could I deny my father?

My mother was given, I could do it in an instant, but I doubt I could do it to my father.

But wouldn't my parents want what was best for me?

_You've got me to a T, my dear…_

What if Edward, with all of his peculiarities and unfound richness were what I needed, what I thrived underneath; would they allow me to follow my heart, or would I be forced to do wrong by them and leave, to dishonor our families name so that I could survive myself.

_Edward, I want you._

A knock resonated against the door, and I ignored it.

Instead the door opened, and a figure approached me, forcing me to feign sleep to hide from the intruder in my room.

I decided as the being walked through my bedroom, that I would in fact visit Edward at his home.

I will have you, Edward

If it would be allowed, we will casually meet once a week until I come to my final solution of what to do about my current place of life.

We would go from there, and should he not be agreeable to this situation, I would break it off and return to my destruction here.

But I'm not about to beg…

Author's Notes:

I apologize for the wait, darlings. Finals, and work and school and all that jazz, not making excuses, because I was in fact writing this out for you along with another story I started, along with my own novel.

Plus I sort of had a road blocker in this storyline, so I took a break until the writers block finally went away.

Anyway. I hope you enjoyed it.

Review, I'll write more

JA NE

!T A O R I S A R R A!


	6. Sleeping Beauty

I didn't hear the door slide open, but I noticed the movement from out of the corner of my eye near the window, my head snappi

**Sleeping Beauty Delusional**

**I believed I could cure it all for you dear**

**Coax or trick or drive or**

**Drag the demons from you**

**Make it right for you**

**Sleeping Beauty truly for**

**I could magically heal you**

**Far beyond a visible sign of your awakening**

**Failing Miserably to rescue Sleeping Beauty**

**Drunk on ego, truly thought I could make it right**

**If I kissed you one more time to help you face the nightmare**

**But you're far too poison for me such a fool to think that I could**

**Wake you from your slumber, that I could actually heal you**

**Sleeping beauty poisoned and hopeless**

**Far beyond a visible sign of your awakening**

**Failing Miserably to find a way to comfort you**

**Far beyond a visible sign of your awakening**

**Hiding from some poisoned memory**

**Poisoned and hopeless Sleeping Beauty**

In truth, I felt broken.

He was not in either place he should have been, and I felt wilted now, having no other idea where he might have been.

He was, after all, still but a stranger to me, and I had no honest opinion of him as I had told him my very self.

Dejectedly, I continued my stroll down Chicago, hoping to find any inkling of him, any one that might indeed know where he was this bleak morning.

The sky was closed up, blocking out the sun and any hope of a good day. A good wind was blowing around and through trees that littered the side of the streets, shaking the few crumpled ruby and golden leaves, some catching as they fell and died right near my feet in the snow.

I shuffled dejectedly along, twirling my fingers within my dress. I felt alone, broken and abused.

The day had begun as any other, my usual day routine and all. Mother had been fretting with Mrs. Newton over tea, and I dreaded that now I might be one step closer to being tied to that horrid little cockroach. He had promised me a lovely wedding, and I promised him my death, wrenching my hands from his after stating quite clearly I was not interested in this union.

And here I was, wandering randomly through the streets.

A bleak building caught my eye, a mob of people moving about within in angry movements, some sort of fight going on within. As it continued on, I tucked my head downward, pushing through the crowd that was rushing in the opposite direction, anxious to see the fight within the shop.

After a few feet it seemed I could breath a bit better, and I lifted my head, rushing along the brisk afternoon market, running smack into the hardest thing I'd ever encountered.

Looking up, I felt like a deer in the headlights, as I gazed upward at a young man, 24-28 give or take some years, golden locks curling down just past his ear as it swirled delicately around the edge of his thin lobes.

"Hi." I felt meek all of a sudden, as his shinning gold eyes stared softly down at me, his hand supporting my back so I didn't fall over.

"You should be much more careful. Where are your guardians? Surely a lady like you wouldn't be left to wander about the city."

Indignantly, I pulled away, rubbing at my hand, glaring up at him slightly, "I would be where I'd like to be, sir, and you best mind where your hands be."

"I apologize. That was quite rude of me." He nodded to me, and offered his hand to me. "Carlisle Cullen of New York."

I took his offered hand, shaking it firmly, "Bella Swan of Chicago."

He returned the handshake before excusing himself, wishing me luck in my journey, my search, or whatever it may be that I was on at the moment.

When he finally left my sight, I felt like I could breath, my hand quickly going to my breast as I panted, taking in all the air I could.

Angrily I sloshed through the snow, the glistening white crackling beneath my weight as I kicked up what was left on the street in my haste to escape.

Timidly, I slipped into the library, aiming for the warm hearth and, hopefully, the comfort of some good novel.

The door shut with a great boom, startling me slightly. No one sat at the desk, nor the tables littered with great candles.

Moving toward the great fire to the way end of the room, I clutched a random novel off of the shelf, approaching a soft looking red chair. I set the book in my chosen seat before the fire, deciding it rude to lounge in good furniture when one was thoroughly soaked through.

I added a log to the blaze, poking at it with a long, iron wrought poker, sending orange and red sparks over the burned and ashen timber.

Slipping off my coat, scarf and mittens, I set them to the side to dry, choosing myself to crawl up to the cross iron gate and warm myself dry before retreating to the chair.

My hands were overtly numbed, and it took longer to feel the blood flow warm there then the rest of me. I was tempted to stick them tenderly through the grating, if I hadn't been too afraid of the burns I might get.

Once passed the wetness into tender summer warmth, where I began sweating slightly, I drew away, settling back to the chair. Not until I had began reading, had I thought it well enough to look at the cover.

I sighed at the cover in disgust_. _

_Alice through the Looking Glass._

I had previously discarded Alice in Wonderland some years prior, finding it but British rubbish, the pages making no sense to me at all. But as it was, I held true, deciding that this would be what I would settle into and read, until, at least, someone showed up to tell me where exactly Edward was, and if they did not know, if they might deliver the letter I had made out to him immediately.

The book reopened after my eyes floated over the pale red cover once more, falling into the role of reader, eyes intent over the letters as the warmth of the fire lulled me into a peaceful sleep.

**(IN CASE SOMEONE MISSED IT, A FEW HOURS LATER)**

I startled awake at the feel of someone's lips pressed against mine, hand going out to clasp at my attacker's chest. His lips pulled at mine, and I groaned at the exquisite smell and taste of the mouth that moved over mine, turning the clawing hand into a groping extension as I melted over the seat.

In the darkness I could barely make out anything; the stranger, my location, my lack of clothing…

Screeching, I drew far away from the man, smacking him hard across the face as I tried to draw away.

Two hands cornered me, pulling me underneath the man once more as the minty breath panted over me in a hushed shhh.

"Quiet Bella…" the hands rolled down my sides, settling at my hips, the soft cotton under dress smoothing under his hands.

"Edward? Is that you? Where am I? I swear to god-"

He kissed my lips once more, gently drawing me away from fear and rage, the extremities that might cause me to run now into Newton's arms and never look back. "You're at my house, in my room. It's nearly two in the morning."

I locked up, hands clutching at what I now recognized as a bed cover. "Take me home. Now."

"I don't think that would be quite wise, Bella-"

"Ms Swan, if you will."

"Ms Swan." He corrected, noticing my switch in fondness in him referring to me so familiarly. "As it is, it is nearly two in the morning. You walking into your home in the middle of the night would neither be intelligent nor self-preserving. You would undoubtedly be questioned about your whereabouts."

I pulled at my hair clip, letting the hair roll out of its soft bun, "And what would you have, then, Mr. Mason? If I'm not to go home, then where am I to be?"

"We could put you up for the night. Say you fell asleep in the Library with a book. As it were, I doubt that would draw much attention to you." He nodded towards the book that laid on the night table, "Very interesting choice in reading material, by the way. Haven't read that one quite yet. Is it any good?"

"It's tolerable."

He nodded, looking to his twiddling fingers nervously before looking up to me, "Are you at all hungry? I could see you put to some sort of food, if you'd like…"

I pondered this for a moment. All things here were taboo to me and unknown. This could very well be my poison apple, my spinning wheel, yet I felt no traitorous pretenses in him. He seemed genuine, and in turn I nodded, agreeing to his offer.

He slid off of my chest, before offering me his robe when I sat up. I took it, the soft navy material slipping through my fingers gently. It smoothed over my skin gently, and I took his offered arm, pulling the wild curls out from beneath the collar of the fleece.

The wood planking of the house creaked under my feet, moaning from age and my added weight as well as he led me through the small, cold house to the kitchenette.

He brushed me towards a small teetering table in the center of the pale yellow room coolly, directing me to sit in one of the orange cushioned wood chairs. As I did so, it groaned into submission, accepting my slight weight with ease.

Edward moved about the kitchen expertly, pulling out a dish from the refrigerator, peeking in it before pealing the metal covering completely off and setting it on top of the stove.

He opened the base cover to the stoves cavern, and leaned in with a flint lighter, striking it several times over a gas valve before it ignited. He slipped the uncovered dish into the oven, before shutting the door and locking the metal clasps.

I watched him with weary eyes, watching how his hands moved so strongly about the kitchen. I licked my lips as he approached me with a dry look, a smile on his lips. "I hope you like potato-stew pies. It seems like it might be one of the few things to have survived our study session today."

"Study sessions? Was that where you were all day? You had me worried sick, I looked everywhere-"

"You shouldn't be quite so mad at me. I've done nothing bad to you. You have no right to get mad-"

"I do too! I have every reason to worry after my decision-"

"And what did you decide?" He asked dangerously, leaning over me again, seductively.

Against my own will, my eyes traveled down his face to his full lips and down to the shirt that was starting to unbutton slightly at the top.

_I Want You…._

Turning bright red was not an option, nor was ripping off his clothes and raping him, so instead I shook my head to clear away the naughty thoughts that clung relentlessly to my brain. "Nothing…" I muttered, looking away from him softly, fixing my vision on a small oil painting done of a young girl, a smile on her heart shaped face as she looked up happily at the unseen painter.

It was enough to calm the thoughts in my head.

When I came out of my black out, Edward had set a plate of fried potatoes, onion, chicken shreds, mushrooms, celery and other freshly chopped vegetables cresting over a thin layer of crumbling crust.

It smelled delicious, and before I dug into the meal, a question dawned on me. I looked up at my green-eyed savior expectantly; as if the answers would shoot out of his mouth faster then he could utter them by look alone. I felt encouraged to ask him, knowing his eyes hadn't left me. "Edward?"

"Yes?"

"What nationality are you?"

"Irish. A bit Polish and German, on my mother's side. Why?"

I smiled, looking down to the plate once more, spearing a seared potato carefully, as not to loose any of the edges to the soft carbohydrate. I took it in a whole bite, stirring the bits of vegetables up until I'd come across a larger mushroom. I popped it into my mouth, before smiling, savoring the flavor. "I haven't had potatoes in nearly six years."

I dug around, finding the next potato, and speared it, drawing it to my mouth the same way the last had entered.

I ventured a look at his face; he appeared shocked to say the least, "Six years! Why on Heaven's green Earth not?"

"My Nana made them. And my mother hated her for it."

It stunned Edward silent. Instead, he watched me finish my plate. "I'm sorry." He finally murmured gently, His hand closed over mine.

"Don't be. It's not like it's any of your fault."

"But I brought it up. I'm sorry." His hand tightened, linking his fingers in mine softly. It lifted until his lips brushed against my knuckles, drawing me out of my chair.

I found myself swaying in his arms, his worshiping hand still holding mine gently to his lips. "Would you show me to where I might sleep? I'm weary, and I feel I'm bad company."

"As you wish." Standing back up, Edward led me silently through the house back to the room I had awakened from.

I paused in mid step, realizing he had shut the door with himself in the dark room again, just the two of us alone and all pretenses shown.

"There's only one bed."

"We can share. I promise I won't bite."

"It's not right!" I hissed, as he pulled at my hand gently, coaxing me to stay.

"Neither is spending the night at one of your courter's but you've done it well enough already. Now you can get into bed, stay up, or go home. Decisions yours alone." 

Tentatively, I weighed my options. I highly doubted that Edward Mason would cause me any ill. If anything were to escalate to something ridiculously crude, it would be mutual, an act of adolescent lust.

I crawled into bed mutely without further complaint. An arm snaked around my waist, making me jump and go stiff at once. "Edward!" I hissed, warningly. He didn't remove his arm, instead only tightened it, drawing me closer to his stomach.

"Easy Bella."

With a roll of my eyes, I forced myself relaxed, deciding to make the best of the few hours I had left under hiding.

"Goodnight, Edward."

"Goodnight, Bella." Leaning forward, his lips brushed against the soft underbrush of my neck, his lips warm on the cool skin of my nape.

**(Several hours later)**

Waking up in Edward's arms wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be.

Stretching as soon as I awoke, I wiped the sleep from my eyes. I met no resistance getting out of the bed; in fact, Edward had been quite cooperative, letting me pull myself out from beneath his bulky arms easily and settling to instead cuddle a pillow in my place.

Dressing quickly, I set the letter on the pillow where my head had lain before dashing out of the room and out of the house, into the darkened streets.

Author Notes:

Sorry it took so long. Wasn't sure what direction to take this chapter….

Time to address really quickly some confusion, might have been my error, or perhaps your misunderstanding. Edward and Bella meet 11 months before Edward's fatal epidemic fatality. So on October 1st, 1917, Bella and Edward meet.

Next for anyone wondering about Dr Carlisle Cullen. So far in my mind, he's not going to make any impromptu pop ups until much later in the story. Not that he's not an important character, I just honestly don't like writing him out. He's in this chapter for my mere pleasure in knowing I've at least introduced him to Bella, before the bombshell that he's a vampire drops.

Following the Carlisle point, to explain, Bella was angry he touched her, not because he hurt her, but because it was very rude to touch someone while walking, let alone run into them.

Song: Sleeping Beauty by a Perfect Circle (I believe….)

Review. I'm not begging any more. I'm threatening.

Ja Ne

!- T A O R I S A R R A-!


	7. Fate is an Elegant Cold Hearted Whore

**lFate is an elegant, cold-hearted whore**

**She loves salting my wounds**

**Yes, she enjoys nothing more**

**I bleed confidence from deep within my guts now**

**I'm the king of this pity party with my jewel-encrusted crown**

**I wanna tear apart your room**

**To see if what you say is true**

**Darling don't you lie, lie to me**

**I wanna break into your heart**

**To see why you want us apart**

**Oh, I'm scared to death to find out what you think of me**

**Fate is an elegant, cold-hearted whore**

**She loves salting my wounds**

**Yes, she enjoys nothing more**

**I bleed confidence from deep within my guts now**

**I'm the king of this pity party with my jewel-encrusted crown**

**According to you we don't click,**

**That's a blatant lie and you know it**

**Angel, what are you hiding from me?**

**If there is truly another secret lunch-break,**

**Working late lover**

**Then I would die, but at least then I'd be free**

**Fate is an elegant, cold-hearted whore**

**She loves salting my wounds**

**Yes, she enjoys nothing more**

**I bleed confidence from deep within my guts now**

**I'm the king of this pity party with my jewel-encrusted crown**

**Fate is an elegant, cold-hearted whore**

**She loves salting my wounds**

**Yes, she enjoys nothing more**

**I bleed confidence from deep within my guts now**

**I'm the king of this pity party with my jewel-encrusted crown**

**Fate is an elegant, cold-hearted whore**

**She loves salting my wounds**

**Yes, she enjoys nothing more**

**I bleed confidence from deep within my guts now**

**I'm the king of this pity party with my jewel-encrusted crown**

I felt like a bandit rushing out of his house as I did. My hands trembled and every few blocks I felt my head swivel to look behind me, should he be close behind.

Knees weak, I eventually got back home in the early daylight; so early, in fact that no one had come across me and I thought I'd gotten off Scott-free this time.

Almost.

As I skipped down the hallway happily, I got the odd feeling that someone was indeed following me. Turning, I found it to be Jacob, a deep scowl on his face as he grabbed me by the upper arm, his grip only tightening further when I struggled slightly. He whipped me around so that I faced him fully, face downcast in shame and fear, both things I'd never around Jake before.

His eyes always saw through me, and now they made me shiver repeatedly, feeling dirty and tainted for even thinking of accepting to share the bed with Edward.

"Where in the hell were you last night?" he growled out, growing over me as I watched.

I couldn't match his eyes, finding the ground much more fascinating then him. He shook me once hard, startling my hiding eyes up to his livid face.

"Damn it, Bella you better have a good fucking excuse for keeping me up and lying last night!"

"I fell asleep in the library. Got locked in, so I had to wait until morning when they reopened." I lied softly, avoiding his eyes altogether but allowing myself to stare at the twitching muscles in his jaw to read his anger.

"Bullshit." He spat at me. I twinged, and he began to look me over, "You were with that boy again."

I was about to say something to the negative about his assumptions, until he caught one of the clip hooks in the back of my dress, pulling it back slightly before letting it snap back in place. Immediately I knew I had been caught; Jacob never forgot something about me, and something this vital he would have kept note of. I would have to be more careful next time.

Next time… Would there be a next time?

I offered my heart to Edward, if only he accepted to take the plunge now.

He would have to beg for me and concede to allow me control of where this went. In any other way, I would have none of this.

Jake must have taken it as an admittance, and he finally rounded on me, the protective older brother emerging quickly from him as he shook me slightly by the upper arms, "I don't want you to see him, anymore Bella. He's no good for you."

I stuttered, looking up at him bewildered. "He's no good for me? Oh, and then Jake, do tell me who is good for me, hm? Crowley? Newton? Lee?"

I leaned in, dangerously. I could feel my heart pounding in my breast erratically, beating against my ribs as if it wanted to escape. "Tell me Jacob, because apparently I've been misguided. I'm always wrong, but you seem to always have the answers. So tell me, what the fuck am I supposed to do?!"

Ripping my arm away from his iron clasp, I wheeled around and began the long tantrum-induced sprint down the hallway, making sure to kick a wood table that had been anxiously annoying me the last several years, breaking the base as the porcelain vase full of lilies, lavender, roses and lilac fell to the marble with a shattering crash.

Jacob shot forward and I heard him skid across the wet floor, trying to save the vase only for it to break directly in front of his face.

Good. He deserved that.

And with a muffled last shriek of annoyance, I slammed the door to the library shut, locking it stiff in all one solid motion.

_**(SOME LAPSE IN TIME)**_

My finger twitched in the rotary, spinning the fourth number in the series of eleven. One to connect, three to direction, and then, the foreboding seven after it, for location.

My hand shook as it made the second rotation, landing on 2, waiting for the click of the multiple metal layers to connect, one number at a time. I had always a limited understanding of technology, but this would suit me well at the moment.

It still hurt my upper arms, where Jacob had grabbed me, shook me. A pair of matching bruises had sprung up almost immediately where his fingers had wrapped around the fine bones of my bicep. It had all but destroyed my ability to flee later today, let alone at all for the rest of the week, as I couldn't put any decent amount of weight on either arm to suspend myself enough to mount my horse.

And so my plans had been thwarted by my cousin in more ways then one. I had pondered long and hard how to go about my business rationally, only to realize that I had no form of communication with the boy in my situation, and, not liking my inability to focus my attention on any one matter since I'd met him, I spun the receiving dial with the receiver close to my ear, and my lips brushing against the speaker with my lips as I mouthed out the numbers over and over to the library.

Finally, the phone began to ring loudly, signaling that my phone call had been connected.

A gruff voice answered a greeting on the other line and my resolve melted instantly.

"Edward Mason." I found myself demanding rudely. My hand went up to my lips, realizing my ignorance immediately, and before I could apologize, he had responded.

"This is he." He sounded tired all of a sudden, as if he'd had this happen one too many times before.

"Junior…" I whispered apologetically quickly.

The man snarled on the other line at me, and I just about slammed the receiver down onto the waiting peg. I knew this was going to end badly.

He in took a deep breath, readying his withering body for the force that was about to erupt from his breast, despite his current location. "Now you listen to me, you little tramp. I want you to stay as far away from my son- as you-got-"

He cut off and dropped his sentence several times before his breathing settled back into an easy thrum. I listened carefully, and could make out the sound of two men bickering slightly on the other end, the speaker obviously being covered in an attempt to keep me from hearing.

"Who's that?"

Some mumbling, then the careening sound of the metal phone being dragged, and almost immediately I felt my heart race.

_Edward…._

His soft breath caressed the edge of the microphone, the fuzzy sound so delicate it sent shivers down my spine. His voice took on an exasperated tone suddenly, and I couldn't help but melt, "What do you want now Bella?"

"Yes." I pulled my lip into my mouth, worrying it about slightly as he went mute again. My breath caught in my chest, refusing to expel in fear that it might drown out the sound of his marvelous voice.

"What do you mean 'Yes', Bella?"

"I mean, yes. Yes. YES!"

Shaking my head, I drew my hair from my forehead, the loose tendrils heavy on my face, bowing upwards in a nil attempt at placating myself. "I'll date you, Edward."

Everything went dead on the other side of the line, his breathing even missing from the dull receiver.

"Edward? Did you hear me? I said I'd-"

"I heard what you said."

"So what?" he cut me off short, an edge to his voice signaling finality when I tried to butt back in to defend myself. "What does it matter, anyway, when all you do is run away, Bella. Admit it. You're not ready to grow up. That's why you questioned this at first, and it's why you're handling yourself like your made of glass."

"Edward… I'm sorry-"

"You know what, forget it. Goodbye Bella."

There was a resounding click as my breath rushed out of my chest at once. Everything burned suddenly, and my hand reached up to grasp at my throat as I choked on an empty mouth.

He…I…

My throat spasmed and I found myself wheeling to the floor, retching all the while.

He didn't want me...

My stomach turned again. I willed away the pain as I gained my footing back, pressing myself to move upwards and out the door.

I stood on shaky feet and redressed myself. My hands smoothed away the wrinkles in the gourd yellow dress I wore as I walked zombie like out of the library, hand caressing the edge of the walls, making my way to the door.

I didn't know where or how my feet propelled me, only that they did, and into the direction of town. Knuckles white and shrieking as my hands clutched at my dress in rage.

Why?

How could he do this to me, after I had opened up my heart, exposed my torn open soul to him, trusted him with it.

The rage engulfed me and soon it ebbed into something unknown to me altogether.

Utter confusion.

Never before in my life had I been so warped then now, that I strolled blindly into a maze of torment I had yet to discover. And even now, I admit I was lost, for the first time being dropped so far down into the emotion I had no idea which way was up or down or even which I was moving.

After wandering aimlessly for hours on end, I found myself before the odd, teetering building from this morning.

The white wood siding was peeling here and there, marking the age of the house as it slightly leaned against the Chicago wind breeze.

I wilted at the sight of it, being pushed against the wind as a gnarly tree grew about the edge of it, aiding it in its fight against the prevailing winds and sever weather this close to the water.

Approaching the door, my hand descended on the door mutely, half afraid he might be within and half worried he might not be.

How would he respond to me, after he had said goodbye and I'd only come crawling back for more pain?

Coming to my final decision, I hit the door one single time; hand flat in fear for the ancient wooden door crumbling beneath my fist. Just as I was about to leave, the door swung open, exposing the warm interior, but no humans within.

I sighed with relief just as a woman with golden brown hair and gentle green eyes peeked around the edge of the door, exasperating my name in a single gasp as if she was pleasantly surprised to see me shadowing her doorstep.

"Bella!"

Before I quite knew what happened, the woman had drawn me into the home, shutting the door as she spun me about in a hug.

Pushing me back, I felt her eyes everywhere, as her hands tugged and pried at pieces she found unfit about my dress. It was about that time that I realized no one was in the house but Elizabeth Mason and myself, and I sort of melted into her maternal prodding, realizing I was at the moment, safe.

"My goodness, dear you've grown thin!"

Mrs. Mason took my hand in hers, tugging it into the direction of the kitchen as if I had always belonged there, lovingly pushing me into the orange chairs, that I could now tell had once been a lively red color but like the house, had faded in time.

As I took in my surroundings, the lady of the house set a plate of fruit before me in offering, before sitting across from me.

Her head fell ungracefully into her hand, shifting her less then perfect hair as she leaned into her palms, wide green eyes still gauging me as I picked up a strawberry tediously. "So is it safe to assume that you've decided to call off this," here her hand spun around, as if trying to catch some correct word with a web, "relationship of yours?"

I felt my throat tighten, and my fingers froze, hovering over the next piece of fruit, Ready for my demise. "How do you-?"

"Know?" she cut me off, a bit of an edge to her tone, "Darling, I know everything about my son. And I know he cares quite desperately for you. I would appreciate it if you stopped playing with his heart."

Her green eyes caught me like a deer in the headlights, and I lost all motor skills and thoughts.

"He found your letter already. I'm sorry to say that you'll be out of the house before he comes back. I will not allow you to see the damage you have caused my son."

A bright smile passed her lips, as she pressed the plate closer to my breast, urging me to finish quickly so she could wash her hands of me.

I must have had a shell-shocked expression written on my face, because she rounded on me again. "What, did you not think that your darling novel words would not hurt him as bad as the meaning behind it. Its true, girl. You have butchered my son."

For several seconds, I continued eating, acting as if I would very well follow the lady's rules to a T as I had been taught from birth. Instead, however, I pondered my next move of action. I chewed deliberately slow, in case my plan might not work. Either way, I would return. I would not leave this alone until I had my turn to speak.

"Mrs. Mason?" I addressed her properly, eyes hooded as I gazed up at her regally, status undoubtedly apparent to her, "Might I pardon myself for a moment? I need to use the restroom."

She nodded and made to get up, proud to show off her generously old house; I held up my hand, "No no, I will find my way. Thank you anyway."

Nodding to her as she sat down, I went down the single hallway, wood creaking familiarly beneath my feet as I made my way down the hall.

My hand paused over the bathroom handle, shaking as I determined my next action. I looked to the left, and there sat Edwards handle. If I decided not to obey, I could quickly obtain footage in there, however, I wasn't quite sure how long I might be safe there. My only choice was to leap, into either direction, as it didn't matter, as long as I picked one quickly.

Dangerous route. All right.

Before I shut the bathroom door silently, I reached within flipping the lock up.

Leaning over, I clicked the door open, sliding into the room before anyone could notice which it was that I entered. Just as sudden, I locked the door and tied a piece of cloth around the doorknob, pulling it taught to the bed where I knotted the remaining bit of it under the mattress and around the bedpost.

All that remained to do here now was wait.

Gazing over the warm room, I took in the gently masculine accents to the room: clothes littering the corner of the room, just short of the waist basket; piles of literature, no doubt an addition from his father's vast collections of books; and a record player, just off to the side, album covers gently lined between his dressers in an attempt at hiding them.

Shifting over the bed. I reached within the mattress, my search widening for the formidable evidence that might very well still be on his person.

Nothing.

Settling back down against the bed, back on the headboard, I crossed my legs, waiting. I had plenty of time to think things over.

Instinctively, I let my dull senses extend passed the door to the soft clicking down the hall; nearing the room I now lounged in. My breath caught just as it stopped. I heard a soft click from the door beside, then the gentle rattling of someone trying to enter.

"Bella are you alright?" I heard her call me out in the hall, her voice gentle, but in the least trusting.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, and walked to the closest wall to the bathroom before calling out, "Yes I am fine. I'll be out in a bit!"

"Alright dear." She answered, not sounding the least bit convinced that I would be 'right out' which I had no intention in doing.

Swallowing deeply again, I lay flat, thinking over all things that had been thusly our relationship. I found nothing to be unpleasant

Too soon, my reverie was disturbed by the sound of a slamming door, signaling an entrance of either Edward Mason.

My breath caught taught in my chest, as I realized that this would either make me or break me, and I found my hands playing with my dress fondly, wringing it around my fingers tightly.

Several minutes passed in perturbed silence.

Footsteps soon began to approach and I once again heard the rattling, the heaviness to them raising my heart beat erratically.

The bathroom door rattled once, then everything went quite for a few moments, then a loud cracking noise came from the door.

As fast as I could, I settled my entire weight on sheet, realizing he couldn't open the door with this second lock of my creation with out my allowing it.

"Bella come Out of there." I heard his sweet voice grumble before he turned the doorknob.

I felt the material shift, but it held true beneath me, not letting the door budge but enough for him to see a sliver of his room, but none of me nor my erratically beating heart.

"No." the words felt surreal, flowing softly from my lips as if I had meant them all along but never gained any favor to use them. "Not until you listen to me."

I could hear his angry hiss on the other side of the door, and the groan of the metal being twisted again. My hands tightened on the cloth, pulling it towards me to shut the door the remaining way.

I stood up, walking over to the door with a purpose, my gait soft as I wound the material taught as I went until I was sitting on the ground, my entire weight against the door as I leaned into it.

"I'm all ears." He ground out. I could hear him crossing his arms angrily through the door.

"Please, Edward, don't. I'm taking this pleasantly, please do the same. After all, I have been the one wronged here."

"You've been wronged? Ha. Bella you have no right to claim that. Leaving me in the middle of the night-"

"Is that what this is about?" I called eagerly loud. "Really Edward. Grow up."

"Get out of my room."

"Not until we get to sort this out." My voice dropped an octave, as I turned my face to the door. "I love you too much to let you go."

He hissed long and deep on the other side of the door and I felt the tension drop, the door pushing shut without effort against my back. "Don't say that Bella."

"_Please."_

He pressed onward, and I felt him move through the wood until his hands slipped under the door, taking my hand in his, the warmth making me melt right there.

"Let me in, Bella. I promise we'll talk."

The hand slid away and I moved to stand up, unbolting the door and my secondary lock in record time before I opened the door and launched myself into his sturdy arms, wrapping myself around his waist, my dress catching only slightly backwards, sliding up to expose my shoes and socks.

"Edward…" the breath caught in my breast, as I lifted my hand to his soft face, dragging my knuckles alongside the edge of his chin, before turning my fingertips to his lips, lovingly stroking them. "I love you…"

Edward turned red in the face, as he pressed a soft kiss to my lips, "How could you ever love me, Bella. I am but a coward."

"How so? How could you say such a thing about yourself? You're anything but a coward-" I began, until his hand pressed to my lips in a fashion to hush me.

"In Reading gaol by Reading town  
There is a pit of shame,  
And in it lies a wretched man  
Eaten by teeth of flame,  
In a burning winding-sheet he lies,

And his grave has got no name."

Edward's hand brushed back a lock of my hair, sensing the unease that had settled on my face.

I was understandably confused why he had begun reciting poetry, let alone one of such a dark caliber. He seemed content enough with my pleasant mood not to want to upset it with something so dark and dripping as this.

"And there, till Christ call forth the dead,  
In silence let him lie:  
No need to waste the foolish tear,  
Or heave the windy sigh:  
The man had killed the thing he loved,  
And so he had to die."

The hand drifted from it lock, sweeping down my face in the trail of tears, brushing slightly at the tip of my lips.

I whimpered softly, leaning into the desperate hand.

"And all men kill the thing they love,  
By all let this be heard,  
Some do it with a bitter look,  
Some with a flattering word,  
The coward does it with a kiss,

The brave man with a sword!"

Leaning up our lips touched at once and I sighed, melting into his arms. The hand fell down to my waist, holding me upright as I started to slide off of his hipbone.

"The Ballad of the Reading Gaol?" I whispered, cornered and melting in a suspended position.

"I am but a man." He answered softly, "An intelligent one, but a man all the same. A wicked one, a devious one, that aims to destroy your heart I fear."

I put my hand to his lips to silence him, "You already had me at hello. You're anything but wicked,"

"I won't destroy you, Bella. It was much easier for you to think it was your fault, then you to know the truth. I'm destroying you with every caress, every kiss."

His hand cupped the back of my head, searching my eyes for some sort of answer.

"You're not destroying me." I whispered softer then I thought possible. "I've been destroyed since creation. I have no hope at all."

Then mutely, I pressed my lips against his, ankles locking where they were with one another, clinging to him in all senses of the word.

"Please. My heart is the only thing I have left whole."

"Please don't destroy that too…"

A notice to all my readers: For those of you who've put up with me so far, congratulations, you now understand what it means to be patient. For those of you who just hopped on my back screeching that this is nowhere near Breaking Dawn, which btw I've read already, then do get off my back.

I try not to be too off balance with my readers, however, due to the shortness of many people, I've been forced to state that I will not be changing either of my Twilight storylines (2-3 depending on what one counts as a story) no matter what the book says.

For those of you whom are indeed reading both stories, a notice on the Your Not Alone/Cry wolf series: I apologize for the delay. As I've said previously, I am not changing any bit of either story. That includes the sisters.

I'd like you all to know that right now, I'm doing my happy dance. If and when you finish Breaking Dawn, I hope you understand why my Team Edward + Jacob self is happy with the ending.

Might use a bit of Breaking Dawn in this story, however not that much, since it has to do half with Jacob and then Vampire/Human Bella.

I want everyone reading to poll for this story in a review:

The questions are:

-Should Jacob be reborn later on in the story?

-Where should I end this story?

-What you thought of Breaking Dawn.

I know most people are looking at that last one going "Huh?" But seriously, I need to know. Its practically in my skin at the moment, which is why I got this up so quickly for you lovely people mourning the end of the story.

I start school tomorrow. Take this as your farewell gift.

The threat holds true. No Reviews No more Story. EOS.

Ja Ne

TA OR IS AR RA


	8. Proposals

**We were both young when I first saw you **

**I close my eyes and the flashback starts **

**I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air **

**See the lights; see the party, the ball gowns **

**See you make your way through the crowd **

**And say hello, little did I know **

**That you were Romeo **

**You were throwing pebbles **

**And my daddy said stay away from Juliet **

**And I was crying on the staircase **

**Begging you please don't go **

**And I said **

**Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone **

**I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run **

**You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess **

**It's a love story, baby, just say yes **

**So I sneak out to the garden to see you **

**We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew **

**So close your eyes, escape this town for a little while **

**Oh, oh, oh **

**'Cause you were Romeo, **

**I was a scarlet letter **

**And my daddy said stay away from Juliet **

**But you were everything to me **

**I was begging you please don't go **

**And I said **

**Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone **

**I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run **

**You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess **

**It's a love story, baby, just say yes **

**Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel **

**This love is difficult, but it's real **

**Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess **

**It's a love story, baby, just say yes **

**Oh oh**

**I got tired of waiting**

**Wondering if you were ever coming around **

**My faith in you was fading **

**When I met you on the outskirts of town **

**And I said **

**Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone **

**I keep waiting for you but you never come **

**Is this in my head, I don't know what to think **

**He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring **

**And said **

**Marry me, Juliet; you'll never have to be alone **

**I love you and that's all I really know **

**I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress **

**It's a love story, baby, just say yes **

**Oh, oh, oh, oh **

**'Cause we were both young when I first saw you**

Deftly his lips fell over mine, drawing me into him as he pushed into the room. The door shut with a resounding click as his hand pulled up the apparatus of my spine, lifting me up with barely a second thought.

I groaned, resisting slightly against his hand as he eased me over his hips back to the original place I had slung my legs. The friction made me warmer, as if nothing but his flesh could appease me.

Dragging me along with him, I felt my backside press firmly into the mattress before his legs pressed against mine, pushing me down into the bedding as his knees knocked against the inside of my thigh. He rocked me back until I was flat on my back looking up at him, legs still firmly attached to his hips as he settled onto his elbows, floating over me like a captured prey, wide eyed and fretful of its future.

I could feel the moisture in my mouth dry instantaneously in fear. His eyes warmed me to the core, scorching me through clothing and flesh alike, until it settled on the necklace in the crook of my neck. Thick lips twitched over a broad jaw before it descended to my throat, nipping softly at the hollow of my neck.

It spasmed under his gentle lips and grazing teeth, so much in fact that his hand went to hold my shoulder so I wouldn't jump and snag myself on the teeth laid out so softly across my flesh.

My hands clasped his vest tightly along his back, kneading as they moved soothingly where they might roam.

I tilted my head away from him, giving him a better plain of access to my flesh, groaning as I tightened inside, thighs gripping him harder as my ankles locked over his hips.

"I thought we were going to talk?" I gasped softly, not resisting, yet not being pushed completely into the water as he crossed over the bridge. I was treading deeper water and he was drowning me here in a sensual desire.

"Later." He acknowledged, kissing me one last time on the chin, smiling up at me as he pulled me close to him. "Bella?"

"Yes?" I gasped, exasperated.

"I'm not sorry. I don't deserve you."

I laughed, tilting my head up as I surveyed the ceiling. "That may very well be the case."

Turning to him with a relaxed smile, I turned the conversation on him. "We would never know though, if I'd let you throw me away."

A chuckled laugh breathed across my skin before Edward lowered his face to mine, kissing me soundly.

"So I believe we had something to discuss?" Edward whispered softly, his breath short as he pulled away from me just far enough to speak.

"It appears we do…" I whispered softly, brushing his hair carefully from his face with the tips of my knuckles.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

I returned the next day, having forgotten my satin gloves on the bed where he had cradled me gently to his chest.

Once more, I walked, clinging deftly to my over coat and woolen cloak, just as my nose buried itself deep into the thick cotton scarf wrapped around my neck five times.

I knocked only once; his parents must have been waiting for me somewhere near the door because the old oak door swung open just as my hand made purchase on the ancient wood.

"Bella!" his father greeted me with a hug as if the previous two days were just a nightmare, a distant memory. The same smell that clung to Edward also clung to his father, I noticed, as he drew me inside the house away from the bitter cold and into the kitchen where Mrs. Mason knelt, stoking a fire beneath the oven to start her family's dinner.

"Here, let me get that," I murmured, moving to kneel beside her

"No no, dear. Your dress is much to pretty to dirty it on a paupers floor. You just sit at the table, I'll brew some coffee in a moment."

SO I wasn't quite forgiven. I could deal with her hatred, so long as I received _his_ love. Turning around, I glanced down the slightly long hallway where Edward's bedroom and bathroom lay waiting. A guilty feeling crept up my spine, making me turn to his father with a sheepish smile.

"I'm awfully sorry about that…" I began pulling out my purse, rummaging through the bills until I came across a fifty. I pulled the crisp dollar from its clip, extending it towards the Masons. "For the locksmith," I explained when the mother gave me a look of incredulousness. Mr. Mason closed my hand over it, denying the money as well as any other help I might give.

"Edward is already fixing it."

My mouth formed a small o before I quickly bowed, skipping down the hallway to where Edward would be.

His large hands clasped the handle, jimmying it as he messed around with a long wire, a flashlight stuck in his mouth as he steadied it with his oral cavity to see within the dark confines of the room and lock.

Deciding not to bother him, I took my position against the wall, folding my arms across my chest as I began to study him intensely, watching as his hands floated expertly over the doorknob.

Not unlike everything else I had seen him touch, he seemed to magically manipulate it just right until I audibly heard the lock turn and settle back into the door.

He reached up with a sense of direction, holding out a small envelope with flourishing symbols on the center of its header in my direction. I took it, letting the thin paper's texture run through my gloves to my fingertips, admiring the feeling.

Turning a brilliant crooked smile to me, he stood up, dusting off his pants where he'd been kneeling.

His arms widened, waiting for me to respond, but I simply stood straight and confused, the envelope settling finally between my fidgeting fingers.

"Well are you going to give me a proper greeting, or not?" The smile in his voice reached his eyes jovially, and I took the two steps between us quickly, throwing my arms around him, pressing my lips to his cheek.

He chuckled, his arms tightening around my waist as he hefted me off the ground to pull me up to his slightly taller form.

And then and there I knew for certain.

For once in my life I didn't need to fear my future, because as long as I was here in this man's arms, everything would be alright.

I needn't have anyone else's consent to be happy in my heart, and I'd hold this secret so dear to myself that no one could ever steal it away from me.

I'd sooner die than leave this happy world that I had built for myself in a matter of weeks, a true fairytale story.

This revelation however, shook me, making me wonder what would become my poisoned apple, my scissors, my spindle… What would steal away this purely innocent happiness that I had obtained, had no right to?

I shook that thought away, breathing in deeply as I clung tighter to Edward. He would become my moat, my powerful protection keeping me from the dangerous world around me, my castle to protect me from the cold, my fire to not only keep me from the darkness ebbing at my heart but also the coldness that might take over if I ever doubted for a second his love.

And with that, our lips met, signing a contract I had little room to meddle in, but was to happy right now to care.

Here, I would be understood….

Here, I would be protected….

Here, I would be loved….

Here, my heart would pound deeply in the rhythm that he set for it as he drove away the nightmares, the pains, the fears….

And I didn't care to think about the consequences….

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Weeks passed into months, and still our relationship grew.

Today, I had found myself sitting before the mirror, reading my reflection. This girl, I'd never encountered before; she was happy, in a genuine way, and I wished to understand her.

My brush tugged gently at the delicately sweeping dark chocolate curls, pulling them as tightly as I could in a coiling bun atop my head, trying my best to tame the unruly locks poking out of the weave.

There was no amount of comparison to the dedicated motions I took now, readying myself for the day. The clip snapped and I admired it briefly, a smile on my lips, as the realization of the date kept my heart where it would remain.

My eyes darted to the invitation on my desk that he had given to me that day, the soft curves of my name adorning the smooth envelope heading. I'd kept it safe with me since that day, opening and closing it multiple times since, taking in the delicate sprawl of his handwriting on the poor quality paper he had wrote a very personal invitation to his house today, for Christmas.

Their presents sat in my satchel downstairs near my coat, already wrapped in exclusive paper, waiting for me to go immediately when I was no longer needed at the party downstairs.

Standing up, I slipped into heals that clicked sharply against the marble tiles, swiftly moving for the door as I tied the ivory sash about my soft, red dress, swishing as I walked.

The white lace peeked out at the edge of my knees, and I fought to no aid to right my bra's location back under the dress. I eventually ended up just pinning it to the dress, exposing the line in my collarbone more then the dress was meant to do.

And so I began my decent at the stairway, taking my time so I didn't end up slipping on the waxed marble and announce my entrance in a degrading manner. It didn't seem like much to most people, but with me, however, that little bit would become my undoing halfway on my way to the fifteenth stair.

I shrieked as my right leg shot out from under me, my foot not making traction as it shifted down to the next stair. Before my head hit the ground, however, Jacob had his arms around my shoulders, keeping me from hitting the ground.

Staring up at him with blank eyes, I allowed him to right me, my eyes never leaving him.

"Be careful." His hot breath whispered over my collarbone, his natural pine scent making me sigh in content. "You're not made of stone; one of these days you're going to seriously hurt yourself."

I turned around to thank him properly just in time to get tugged by the arm away from him. I smiled apologetically at my dear cousin, making a motion to prove that where I may go was none of my doing, but all that of the one grasping me about the upper arm and hurrying me along down the steps to the dinning room.

Turning my head back to its rightful position, I allowed my hand to tighten angrily as the bane of my existence all but dragged me into the room glistening with candles and crystals, sending rainbows across the pristine pale blue walls.

It distracted me for a few moments, drawing my attention from the vicious little cockroach trying to gain my favor, leaning over me at this very moment in an attempt at a kiss.

Slapping away his hand as he reached to place it on my hip, I snarled at him, before he reacted to the negative action.

He pointed upward to the crinkling green holy above our heads. Damn that horrendous piece of tradition. Sighing and forcing down the bile, I released him, allowing him to move in for a kiss, only for me to turn slightly and force him upon my cheek.

He was slightly miffed, but that was to be expected. He began grumbling something about Jessica wanting to see me, before he stalked off in another direction entirely with Tyler.

Dizzy, I steadied myself against the wall, waltzing softly over to the group of sneering girls, hands covering their full pouting red lips with small clothes daintily.

"Bella, darling!" Jessica squealed, drawing me close to her breast dazedly, her wine glass tipping dangerously close to her white silk knee-length chiffon dress. "We were just talking about you!"

Lauren smiled sharply behind her hand, sneering as she actually did drip some wine on her slinky green dress on the way to her mouth, already to drunk to drink properly.

The two giggled madly over the accident, and Jessica pouted as she downed the last of the wine, mysteriously disappearing somewhere that the girl couldn't comprehend.

Leana Claire glared indignantly as the two ditz's liquor sloshed in their cups, their pureblood attitudes far worse then her middle class one, and she wrapped her arm around her own waist, idly twirling the wine in her glass contemplatively.

They excused themselves, and it was then that I realized that the girl was bored among people she didn't know, Jacob gone missing upstairs when I had turned up.

She, unlike any other time I had seen her, was lovely, although much less dressed up then perhaps everyone else here, and I knew that fact made her self conscious as well. Her makeup, her hair was flawless, and I suddenly felt un-right here in her storybook ending; she belonged here, I didn't.

Refusing a glass of wine offered to me, I turned my attention to her body once more, the curves of her body similar in shape and size to mine. "Leana? Do me a favor?"

Shocked, she unwrapped her arms from around herself, looking down at me expectantly. "Yes, Isabella?"

I took her hand then, dragging her from the hall to the bathroom door where no one saw us. "Trade dresses with me?"

I waited as she contemplated this, fingering her deep blue knee-length gown in thought, and I half expected her to say no. But she nodded in agreement, and we both slipped into the bathroom and exchanged clothes.

My dress fit her much better, covering her broad shoulders enough that her bra hadn't shown as mine had. My shoes too seemed to fit her better, making her even taller, perhaps now even competitive with Jacob's height.

I hailed her flat shoes, loving the feel of the soft satin instead of the cutting rigidness of the heels.

"You look… amazing, Bella." She whispered as I turned around finally, pulling my hair consciously over my now bare shoulders as the clear, gauzy glittery blue sleeves hung elegantly down my arms.

"Here, sit; let me fix your makeup…"

In this instant, I felt like she was my older sister as she pulled me to the toilet, setting me down as she messed slightly with my makeup, her silvery blue makeup being smeared over my heavy lids and up into my brow.

After a moment, she nodded her agreeance, and, as if someone might be listening at the door, leaned down to whisper in my ear, "I'll make sure you aren't missed while you're gone."

Odd enough, I had not shown her the letter, nor had I spoken to anyone about my plans for tonight. But she knew, somehow, she knew.

Ushering me to the door, she let me slip out unnoticed, herself as my decoy.

Just outside the compound, however, it began to snow, the thick, wet fluffy snowflakes turning into a blizzard very quickly. I hailed a taxi once in the city, happy to find the warmth within where the cold melted off of me and the snow melted, drenching me thoroughly.

Rushing through the streets in the cab, I soon wound up entering my lover's home, dress clinging desperately to the curves of my breasts and hips in hope that it shouldn't expand too much and fall from my frame line. Edward looked up from the notebook in which he was writing and smiled.

Something about me dripping wet with my hair all over the place made him warm faced with a brilliant blush, and it made me fall even deeper in love with him.

"I was hoping you'd visit," he said, putting his work away. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you...or, rather, ask of you."

A chill swept through my spine, but I pushed it aside, my hands deep in the soaked tresses, wringing them between my fingertips. "Oh?"

Edward rose gracefully to his feet, turning to face me fully, hands clasped loosely, before he used them to aid his speech slightly, moving them a bit in round elegant circles. "I would invite you out for a nice, romantic dinner, but I know how much you'd enjoy yourself around that many people."

He chuckled, his hands ceasing to move about before he moved his eyes to catch up once more with mine. "Besides, it can't beat my mother's cooking. So..." He took a deep breath, his demeanor suddenly showing signs of nervousness. "Walk with me?"

Looking down at myself, I threw an exasperated look his direction, throwing my own gloved hands down at my clothes.

Catching the look I shot at him, he shook his head. "No, of course not now. Later, after dinner."

I agreed, not really having any other option.

Taking me by the arm, he dragged me starry-eyed back down the rickety staircase to the kitchen, tucked under his arm.

At time like this, I was happy he had never introduced me as I was, or who I was seen to be. I was content to remain Bella, his Bella, to any and all whom may be concerned. I wanted nothing in his arms, but his love itself, which I found ever revolving in a sequence of kisses and caresses.

Here, in his home, I remained his Bella, to both his father and his mother, and there were no questions asked amongst them. And, more key, no stranger there to recognize me for whom I was.

Edward requested a dress of his mothers, and she quickly retrieved it for me, sending me quickly to change before I might get sick with wetness. From there, Leana's dress was hung by the fire to dry in the kitchen, my coat over the radiator to dry quicker.

Dinner was a quite and peaceful event. Pressed to Edward's side, I found myself looking up at him with a smile playing with my lips, before drawing closer to him.

We had barely finished when Edward ushered me outside, informing his mother that we'd return soon, and led me to a place where we could be alone, surrounded by the peace of nature instead of crowds of noisy people.

I hugged myself against the cold, his mother's coat snug around me, walking briskly beside my emerald-eyed Adonis, whom had his hands shoved deep within his pockets. "I've been thinking about us," he began. "About what we are to each other."

"And?" I prodded. If this did turn out to be the goodbye speech i dreaded, better to get it over with and break my heart quickly.

Edward stepped closer and ran his hands lightly up and down my sleeved arms, warming me as he drew me in closer. He had always liked touching, even if only for a fleeting moment.

Leaning slightly into him, I took deep notice that he held me suspended from his body, which chilled me further then the summer's night wind did. I yearned to kiss him briskly, but he held me taught where I was.

However, his next statement made me question whether his behavior had been a little too convincing. "Our relationship, as it is...it just isn't enough for me. I want more."

I froze. I heard the words—had even been expecting them, in fact--but still could hardly believe them.

_**You bastard!**_

The instinctive response rang in my mind, but I knew protesting would do no good; his fading interest had been inevitable. Nor could I bring myself to lash out physically and return the insult. I had taken this risk voluntarily because I loved him, and that wouldn't simply disappear when it was no longer convenient, despite how much I might want it to.

I could never, ever, intentionally harm my Edward…

Stopping his consistent rubbing, he drew me closer to his frame, embracing me as if he were the only thing in the world that kept me upright, like a buoy on a raging sea.

"You're the other half of me, Bella," Edward said softly against my hair, his warm breath blowing warm puffs of heat across my scalp. "I want to acknowledge that. I want us to belong to each other officially. I was hoping..." he broke off with a little laugh, suddenly aware of the tension taught in my spine, and backed away slightly. "I guess what I mean is," he continued, fighting to put the concept into words, "I want to marry you."

I didn't know what to say, even if my voice had started working. Everything I had been thinking, everything I had been feeling, had just twisted upside-down. That last sentence repeated itself over and over, until finally I managed to produce at least an echo of it.

"_**Marry**__ you?"_

"Nothing elaborate," Edward hastened to assure me, mistaking the cause of my confusion. "I don't care if it's in a small shed of a barnyard, so long as you're happy, Bella. No one even has to know if you don't want them to." He paused, concerned by the lack of my response. "But if you don't want to, I understand. I wouldn't force you-"

Reaching up, I pressed a gloved hand over his lips, suppressing laughter deep in my throat. Large, emerald eyes blinked at me. Twice. When I was certain that he would be quiet so that I could think, I removed my hand and frowned. Edward wasn't going to leave me? -Had not, in fact, entertained anything even remotely resembling the notion?

How could I answer when I was so ready for this fairytale to end?

To be asked to share Edward's life, not merely for a brief window of time in which nothing had separated them, but to have it in its entirety, to be promised him for eternity? Who in their right mind could even contemplate turning down such an offer?

I opened my mouth, prepared to speak, but found that, like a fish out of water, my mouth served me no purpose here, as I was already drowning, and so I opted to shake my head vehemently in the positive.

I shrieked openly, as he lifted me up by the hips, crushing me to his chest as he began to twirl me around. The terrified noise soon ebbed into laughter, as Edward lowered me gently downward, his lips catching mine lovingly.

I told myself I didn't feel guilty. Yes, I had thought the worst of my exceedingly loving fiancé, and my paranoia had proven to be unfounded. I had to be honest with myself, even if the truth hurt, and the truth was that I had felt betrayed. Now matter what, I couldn't apologize for that. What mattered was that I had not reacted to those doubts. I firmly maintained the idea that _actions_ counted far more than superficial musings kept locked inside ones head.

Still... I knew it would hurt Edward to know that I had entertained suspicions of the other's disloyalty, as much as it had pained me to think them. Better for us both if he never found out.

Alright. So onto the apology: I'm sorry that I couldn't get this to you all sooner. I had someone hack my computer and took over everything. They then proceeded to delete everything on my hard drive, as well as locking me off of it. I still can't load the computer properly, and I had to rewrite this chapter as it was done and waiting for all of you in October with a separate story half-ready for December. Both are unattainable, so the mixture of both of them became this, written between school days since I lost my computer.

So yeah…. Edward proposed to Bella.

**Question: **

twenty1nyounger EK!  
**I** started to cry w**h**en he um told her to stop calling. but w**h**at letter?? **D**id **J**acob send a letter saying she didn**'**t want him? cuz **I'**m confused and** I** ha**ve** NO idea w**h**at **M**rs**. M**as**o**n was talking about...anyway she**'**s awesome and** J**acob is an ** HOLE an**y**way please! **C**an u update soon!

**Answer:**

Once again, I apologize but I have to edit your horrific grammar. Next, I'd like to ask people not to astro out things such as asshole, for a rater **M **fan fiction. If you're not mature enough to see the word asshole, perhaps there's something to be said about you reading an **M** FF. Finally onto the actual question: The letter. Bella left it on his pillow to tell him she would accept his offer to court her. Edward was upset moreover the fact that she ran away then the content of which.

Finally, Jacob. He is hardly an asshole here (despite the fact that I really, really do hate him, like put a pickaxe through his forehead for lighting up a cigarette hate) ((ps, only one of you will actually really get that)). He is simply protecting his younger sibling. Before anyone points out that he's her cousin, I want to also point out that he was raised with her in this story.

I like to call this big brother symptom as well: no boy is ever good enough for your younger sister.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Review and I'll love you forever.

You might just get a chapter out of me too!

J A N E

~ ! * T A O R I S A R R A * ! ~


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